The Ultimate Chair 
A friend of mine has one of those kick ass massage chairs, and I've been using it a few times a week. That thing is fucking awesome. It's not some Chinese made piece of shit that will give you cancer. It's made in Japan, so you know if anything went wrong with it, the engineer would feel dishonored and jump off a building. Anyway, when the massage is over, I just sit there all relaxed for a couple minutes, and I was thinking that they should have some sort of extension to the chair that will massage your dick or vagina or whatever you got down there. I know they have the technology, and I can't think of a better way to relax than shooting a load right after a nice massage. Figure it out, Japan. --Adam Leave A Comment
The Fly 
I'm feeling pretty good right now because I just committed murder. There was this annoying ass fly buzzing around the room all morning and pissing me off. I took a few swings and missed, but he tested his luck one too many times. As he was about to buzz right by my ear again, I got a piece of him and smacked that fucker right into the wall. I watched him hit the floor and lay there all dazed and injured for a few seconds before delivering the coup de grace. Now I have peace and quiet again. I hope he burns in fly hell. --Adam Leave A Comment
Texan's Suck 
Monday night football proved that the Texans suck, and guess what, so does iluvkitty. Ha! Iluvkitty emailed me yesterday letting me know that the Texans are #1, and that the Steeler's suck. He even sent a picture of a man wearing some Houston Texan underwear which seemed pretty weird, but I guess that's how iluvkitty rolls. Let me point out that the Steelers suck too, but just not as bad as iluvkitty and the Texans ;) --Jay D. Leave A Comment
Who’s the Negotiator Now?  
Last night my boy was trying to talk me into extra watching TV before bed. He had decided that the number 4 would represent some arbitrary measure of time. Being the awesome Dad I am, I thought we could negotiate down to 2. I started at 1, and he went to 3. Then I said 2, and he said 3. I went for no TV and he stuck with 3, this back and forth went on and on for a few minutes. Then he pulled the tactic I didn’t plan for; The Meltdown. I laughed a little on the inside and said “ok, 4 is fine.” Of course when it came time to watch TV, he was over it after about a minute. Life lessons by Daddy Jay D. Leave A Comment
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GOTCHA BITCHES

08/31/2014

So if you haven‘t figured it out already, Rockinron is not dead. He‘s actually feeling better than ever after we successfully pranked you fuckers. When he first brought up the idea of me announcing his death, I thought, if done right it could be really funny, but it turned out so much greater than I ever imagined. People were truly bummed out. It was so awesome. Even Jay texted me, "Seriously?", right after he read my blog. For a second I thought about replying, "Yup&q...

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