Hello from '06 
Well I'm nearing my last few hours in the past then I get to jump back into the future. It's all good though it's been pretty cool to be out by the wilderness and being around the animals and shit. My grandpa has like 20 deer that feed in his back yard every day. One he personally bottle feeds the oldest buck. It's pretty fucking wild. --Big Jeff Leave A Comment

House sitting 
So I'm away from the homebase and boy do I miss my setup there. I feel like I took a step back to the early 2000's. The internet is 1.5megabit, not one TV with a HDMI, and there's still a landline phone here. Oh well though it's still nice to help my grandpa out.. I'll be rolling them out as fast as this molasses speed internet will let me churn it out, and if you live near me enjoy this nice day outside. --Big Jeff Leave A Comment
Running Out Of Dick Space 
When family runs into computer problems they usually text me. For some reason they think I'm a genious When I probably have less brains than a Trump supporter. I got a message on skype from a family member telling me she was running out of dick space. I told her well if it doesn't fit in your ass maybe you need you need a new asshole. She was like that is not what I meant so I told her to start dating Asian men instead of the black dudes she's always around. She said that isn't the problem you fucking bigot. I told her there was always vaseline if she couldn't afford proper lubricant but when she couldn't get her point across so she told me to fuck off so I said well I'm sure if anal doesn't work I'm sure oral isn't a problem or learn to take it in the ear so she told me that she would be calling my dad. Honestly I think I'm too old for a spanking unless its from a craigslist hooker. --Dave G. Leave A Comment
Happy St. Patricks Day 
Hope you fuckers end up having fun and end up getting lucky with a cute Irish lady wearing green panties. I'm feeling lazy so I'm just going to avoid doing my house chores other than the dishes and try and find a good leprechaun porn movie. They're close enough to midgets so its right up my alley and hopefully not literally. I don't swing that way so no pot of gold at the end of the rainbow for you Ouch. --Dave G. Leave A Comment
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GOTCHA BITCHES

08/31/2014

So if you haven‘t figured it out already, Rockinron is not dead. He‘s actually feeling better than ever after we successfully pranked you fuckers. When he first brought up the idea of me announcing his death, I thought, if done right it could be really funny, but it turned out so much greater than I ever imagined. People were truly bummed out. It was so awesome. Even Jay texted me, "Seriously?", right after he read my blog. For a second I thought about replying, "Yup&q...

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