Beating Your Wife Is Bad 
I don't get the point of commercials that oppose domestic violence. Are they really having an impact on the attitudes of asshole men with anger issues? Do you think there's a guy at home about to beat the shit out of his wife, but then he saw Eli Manning shaking his head and Chris Carter taking a deep breath, and realized that kicking her in the ribs after slamming her on the ground is wrong? I'm skeptical. But it's really heart-warming to know that the NFL cares so much. --Adam Leave A Comment
Too Wet To Drive 
One of the great things about Southern California is the weather is pretty much always perfect. The bad side to that is that whenever it rains, people have no fucking clue how to drive. I've lived all over and spent 9 years somewhere that it rains nearly every fucking day, so it's really quite annoying to deal with these shitty drivers. It blows my mind how I can not even be doing the speed limit on the freeway, and still be flying past everyone. What the fuck! --Adam Leave A Comment
Almost a Day Off 
Well, you fuckers almost didn't get any updates today. You see, Friday is Jay's day, but a couple weeks ago, he asked if I could work today, and being the awesome guy I am, I said, "No problem." But Jay made the mistake of assuming I'd remember that I agreed to work on my day off that long ago, and never reminded me. It wasn't until I realized something was awry that I got a hold of the big fella to make sure he wasn't dead. Turns out Jay is in Florida this weekend, so I stopped watching Japanese scat porn and got to work immediately. Nah, just kidding. I'm still watching Japanese scat porn. --Adam Leave A Comment
Mango 
I picked up a nice ripe mango at the market yesterday, and I'm kind of excited to eat it. But at the same time, I don't have very high expectations because I've yet to have a great mango in California. Back in Florida, my friend has a mango tree that produces the best fucking fruit I've ever had, so my standards are pretty high. I used to eat at least 5 of those fuckers a day when they were in season. Here's a tip for you guys. Mangoes make you horny as fuck. At least they do for me. A couple bites in and I'm already needing to adjust the package. They're nature's Viagra. You're welcome. --Adam Leave A Comment
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GOTCHA BITCHES

08/31/2014

So if you haven‘t figured it out already, Rockinron is not dead. He‘s actually feeling better than ever after we successfully pranked you fuckers. When he first brought up the idea of me announcing his death, I thought, if done right it could be really funny, but it turned out so much greater than I ever imagined. People were truly bummed out. It was so awesome. Even Jay texted me, "Seriously?", right after he read my blog. For a second I thought about replying, "Yup&q...

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