Thank God You Have a Dive Bar 
For those enough lucky to have a dive bar, thank your lucky stars. I am truly jealous of those of you that have a neighborhood bar, or some watering hole that you can go to, see skanky women, cheap beers, and throw up on the floor and no one cares. I could give a shit less about some fancy fucking place that has beers that are 8 bucks because it's so fucking fancy. I just want a place that is hipster and yuppy free, with cheap beers. Is that too much to ask? --Jay Leave A Comment
Beat The Germans 
There's a big game going on right now, bitches. USA vs. Germany in the last group game of the World Cup. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know I'm a big gay fag for watching the single most popular sporting event in the entire world, aside from the Olympics. The only reason it's not popular here in 'Murica is because there are no commercial breaks, so McDonald's and Budweiser can't hypnotize all the retarded people of the nation every 4 minutes. Anyway, Germany has been blitzkrieging but it's still scoreless at halftime. Our chances of advancing are pretty good right now. Go 'Murica! --Adam Leave A Comment
I feel something in my balls 
Today I felt something in my balls, that I haven't felt in a long time. Sweat. My balls are sweating today. And I love it. After a long winter of freezing my balls off, they have now descended from my taint area, and are chilling like a villain where one would normally find one's balls. It's a great feeling I tell you. I'm so excited, I'm going to go put my mother fucking ball shorts on. --Jay Leave A Comment
A Damn Fine Burrito 
When I don't have anything on my mind to blog about, I go back to the basics. Eating, shitting and jerking off. So today I'd like to take a minute to give thanks for California burritos. I've been enjoying carne asada burritos for as long as I can remember, but somebody had the simple idea of putting french fries inside a carne asada burrito, and calling it a California burrito. I recently started eating them, and they are fucking delicious. And I'm not really that big of a french fry fan. You definitely want to be stocked up on toilet paper when you eat them. Guess what I'm having for lunch, bitches. --Adam Leave A Comment
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GOTCHA BITCHES

08/31/2014

So if you haven‘t figured it out already, Rockinron is not dead. He‘s actually feeling better than ever after we successfully pranked you fuckers. When he first brought up the idea of me announcing his death, I thought, if done right it could be really funny, but it turned out so much greater than I ever imagined. People were truly bummed out. It was so awesome. Even Jay texted me, "Seriously?", right after he read my blog. For a second I thought about replying, "Yup&q...

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