Time To Shit Bricks

jay
20,898 Views 2 years ago

First off I hate flying. I fucking hate everything about it. The security checks, the lack of control, the assholes. Then there is this. I'm a pretty cool cucumber usually, but if smoke started filling the cabin, and the pilot comes on saying they are down to one engine. I'm fucking shitting bricks. I don't believe in Jesus or Allah, but I would be a believer until we landed. Fuck that. Also, I'd try to grab a titty or two just to say I did it.

27 Comments
  • eat3beans September 19, 2014

    What I f a bunch of dildos popped out instead of oxygen masks

    +5
  • crazyvet September 19, 2014

    Just open one window in the front and one in the back and the smoke will clear in no time.

    +6
  • vulture September 19, 2014

    when they say "brace" they mean kiss your ass goodbye

    +1
  • cellule September 19, 2014

    ..in the event of a crash, some will die on this side and some on this other side...

    +0
  • randybobandy September 19, 2014

    The chance of being in a car wreck are exponentially higher. However, the chance of surviving a plane crash is also infinitesimal. Therefore i keep my white ass on the ground.

    -3
  • rockinron September 19, 2014

    this is your captain speaking, we are now coming into denver metro, if you have not already fired up a fat one please feel free to do so now. there are complementary bags of munchies at the exits and oxygen masks for those assholes who are against colorado law. we hope you had a blazing good flight and got as high as this airplane did, and as always thanks for flying rockie mountain HIGH, a colorado airline.

    +6
  • vikingshill September 19, 2014

    It'll be ok, just don't order the fish

    +4
  • feelnlow September 19, 2014

    I'd rather take my chances with one engine. Fuck California!

    -2
  • bigtex September 19, 2014

    Mostly planes crash due to flying too damn low!!

    +2
  • wifebeater2000 September 19, 2014

    id start fucking whoever was down to fuck

    +3
  • longhungwong September 19, 2014

    I drew the line right around when the baby started crying gat demmit lady... let me die in peace!

    +7
  • norwegiandrunk September 19, 2014

    thats the part where you stand up and yell WE ARE ALL GONNA DIE! then just start grabbing titties and feeling up hot chicks.

    +3
  • whobe September 19, 2014

    Fuck it I would jump into the isle and scream I got a bomb on me and I'm going to blow this fucker up.

    +1
  • toesrus September 19, 2014

    This is your captain speaking , please return your stewardess to the upright position and fasten your seatbelt.

    +1
  • goodster September 19, 2014

    And the bitch had the nerve to tell everyone NO SMOKING and don't use the LAV.... To late bitch, everyone has already shit themselves!

    +2
  • ouch September 19, 2014

    I'd have a sleep and ask the wife to wake me when we landed

    +3
  • fulmerino September 19, 2014

    Hell, I'd light one up, and rub one out. Blow my load on whoever sitting next to me. And hope like hell we crashed, because I'd never live that one down.

    +1
  • pizzapie September 19, 2014

    The video cut off before the fiery crash

    +0
  • vaticider September 19, 2014

    My wife would of lost her shit.

    +0
  • dagun September 20, 2014

    I would have jerked off one last time.

    +0
  • dullfeathers September 20, 2014

    Did I hear that bitch tell me no smoking?? I would be smoking cigs, crack, meth, opium and the flight attendants ass at that point.

    +1
  • cellule September 20, 2014

    ...imagine a plane crashing from 'natural cause' but supposed to be attacked by Akhbar, do they have to kill themselves in the restroom before the crash to save their honor?

    +0
  • captjim September 20, 2014

    @randybobandy I hate people who talk out of their ass like they know what the fuck they're talking about. Yes, you're in more danger driving a car, but surviving a plane crash is NOT infinitesimally small. In fact, a staggering 95.7 percent of people involved in plane crashes survive. Even in the most serious class of crashes, more than 76 percent survive [source: NTSB]. Instead of just talking out your ass like you know what the fuck you're talking about, try actually knowing what the fuck it is you're saying before you rattle off some stupid ass misconception when you don't truly know the facts.

    +0
  • solidbriscoe September 20, 2014

    I guess I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue...

    +3
  • rodeye2 September 20, 2014

    I'd whip my dick out and ask the chick next to me if she wanted to sit on it, and let my wife watch of course.

    +0
  • uranus September 20, 2014

    It would be sweet to survive a plane crash. More pussy then you know what to do with

    +0
  • nybadguy September 21, 2014

    I flew once and that was enuff for me.

    +0
 
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