Cucumber Anyone?

Who wants cucumber on their salad? We got a big fresh one and there's plenty to go around. Just be careful if you want to shove it up your ass. You don't want it getting stuck up there and have to explain it to the doctor.

39 Comments
  • tardnugget November 4, 2014

    If youre gonna do that why use such a small cucumber?

    +8
  • vulture November 4, 2014

    cucumbers get anywere they should be kept on a lead at all times

    +1
  • crazyvet November 4, 2014

    I was wondering where I lost that.

    +5
  • longhungwong November 4, 2014

    She could have saved a lot of money if she just pushed.

    +7
  • longhungwong November 4, 2014

    He'll shit bricks once he sees the medical bill.

    +5
  • fistermister November 4, 2014

    I was just walking down the street minding my own business when all of a sudden I trip and fell on this huge cucumber. Honest Injun Doc.

    +9
  • whobe November 4, 2014

    That's one big ass Bot Fly.

    +2
  • kanada November 4, 2014

    One in a million doc, one in a million.

    +1
  • bigtex November 4, 2014

    Not easy to be in a fraternity these days!

    +3
  • eat3beans November 4, 2014

    My friend an ER surgeon said that shit happens on a regular basis

    +10
  • kanada November 4, 2014

    Umm next time I'll chop it up before I eat it doc.

    +3
  • fuckhowyoufeel November 4, 2014

    \"That's weird... I don't remember eating cucumber doc...\"

    +7
  • pizzapie November 4, 2014

    don't let it go to waste, cut it up and throw it in the salad

    +2
  • jlm77 November 4, 2014

    that's not what the docs meant by taking in more fiber

    +2
  • kanada November 4, 2014

    Probably from eating the seeds eh doc.

    +2
  • nybadguy November 4, 2014

    Well that's one way to prevent the seeds from getting mixed in your shit

    +1
  • cellule November 4, 2014

    Home-made tsaziki recipe taken on the innaneh'...

    +2
  • iluvkitty November 4, 2014

    Pinche Joto.

    +4
  • bigtex November 4, 2014

    @pussysurveyor, how much did this cost you!?

    +6
  • rockinron November 4, 2014

    HO HO HO green giant!!!

    +5
  • truckingman November 4, 2014

    What is with this Mother FuckerS Shoving SHIT, Stuff, Up their ASSES Only to to have the SHIT Go in to Far and can not get It Out. Only to end up in the Hospital to have the SHIT REMOVED, The Staff DO NOT What to See or Get in Involved in Your MF" SHITTY SITUATION...

    +2
  • truckingman November 4, 2014

    @kanada: The doc would say "Right, all ready then..."

    Sincerely, Robert Hallock

    the truckingman.

    +3
  • thedoctor November 4, 2014

    I keep getting pop-ups from this site so it's hasta la vista..

    -4
  • iluvkitty November 4, 2014

    ^^^^ you got Ebola, go quarantine yourself.

    +4
  • picklehiesner November 4, 2014

    Dude why'd ya do that ?

    +3
  • darkmadness November 4, 2014

    Eating healthy, You did it wrong.

    +3
  • nybadguy November 4, 2014

    Man. I'd like to see a video of this prick walking Around. Wonder if he walks like he's holding in a huge fart.

    +3
  • happyjack November 4, 2014

    The I'm no expert on having things inserted in my ass, but from a practical point of view couldn't the first 12" of that cucumber do the trick? Could have left a handle of a few inches anyway. "What are you here for?" "been having some mild discomfort in my anal region"

    +5
  • potrostation November 4, 2014

    I've always said Veggi Tales was gay!

    +1
  • dormagen1 November 4, 2014

    i just ate a footlong cucumber and im still hungry

    +2
  • nybadguy November 4, 2014

    @dorm. That's because it belongs in the front door and not the back man.

    +2
  • bigtex November 4, 2014

    @thedoctor, bust out the credit card and buy a VIP. Then those pop ups won't happen!!

    +1
  • longhungwong November 5, 2014

    So that's how Rockinron perforated his rectum and died.

    +2
  • morbuis669 November 5, 2014

    I woke up like this doc, honestly.

    +1
  • allcaps November 5, 2014

    I bet that felt good..

    +1
  • white_devil November 5, 2014

    And that's how pickles are made.

    +1
  • handsomedevil November 5, 2014

    hi, my name is ronski; and welcome to jackass!

    -1
  • me68 November 5, 2014

    longhungwong id hate to see your missus, im sure that's a blokes arse !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    +1
  • miuwu208 May 8, 2015

    DUDE you have some fucking issues

    +0
 
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