A GUIDE TO CALIFORNIA

  • dick steel December 7, 2017

    So the hookers are taking initiative to solve Cali's drought problem.

    +11 -7
    • ob1 December 7, 2017

      @dick steel another girl whacking off outside, do it at home like everyone else, that just makes her look homeless

      +1 -0
    • deadpen December 7, 2017

      @dick steel If she rubs that thing any more she is going to start a fire...........OOHHHH!

      +1 -0
  • GrimmWilder December 7, 2017

    A taser to that metal buttplug will break her of pissing on the steps.,.,,.

    +16 -5
  • sealex December 7, 2017

    I don't get it...smh. why not just fuck her in the stairs? If I was in front of her I don't I would resist more that 10 seconds of her masturbating before I fucked her or just blew my load. I did that with a girlfriend. She wanted to show me how she masturbated and after 10 short seconds I was jumping the hell out of her. Then I let her continue. Then dis the same thing..lol

    +5 -0
    • mad hatter December 7, 2017

      @sealex

      i guesz thats the difference between fucking a hot bird all day and imagining fucking a hot girl all day

      +3 -0
  • maddog123 December 7, 2017

    Hmm itchy balls

    +8 -2
    • srv December 7, 2017

      @maddog123

      Genital herpes? Gonorrhea? Buttery Blue Waffleloidal? Genital Warts? Itchy Balloonium?

      Chlamydia? Girthy Shafticox? Pubic lice? Trichomoniasis? Wet Scrotolitus? Scabies? Taintinak? ...

      A good home remedy for most of these "itches" is a mixture of 1/3 tartar sauce, 1/3 mustard, 1/3 peanut butter (smooth), and one drop Gorilla glue.

      Give a nice smear of it all over infected area and leave on for a long time, continuously adding a drop of Gorilla glue throughout until ballsac is completely hardened. By this time, itching should have subsided.

      Now you can chisel the medication from the scrotum.

      Well, no more itchy balls and as a bonus, they should be soft ... and smell nice, too.

      You're welcome!!

      +3 -3
      • felterupgood December 7, 2017

        @srv

        You forgot to mention that its a good idea to shave first.

        +2 -3
        • srv December 7, 2017

          @felterupgood

          No need ...

          Gorilla glue!

          +1 -1
      • maddog123 December 7, 2017

        @srv no no good I've put that stuff on me before didn't work but my dog sucka rash loved licking it off yeah boy

        +5 -3
        • srv December 7, 2017

          @maddog123

          Oh, you have a pup with balls, yes? Great ... then just smoosh balls with your dog and the natural essence of your dog; his grease, oils, piss, shit, snot, blood and jizz, will naturally kill off virtually all of those conditions. It's ironic how another set of balls will come to your own balls rescue.

          Life is cute like that.

          But remember, you need to really grind like you mean it, I mean really get into it—you need to smoosh haaard, my friend. To prevent your dog (or you) from being a little standoffish, then a little dick-on dick action and some cuddling might be in order, as well as a little of your tongue on his dick.

          "Well, that part sure as hell doesn't make sense!", you may think. Don't worry about it ... I'm the professional.

          Anyways, do this for about 2 – 3 hours straight and I think you should be all good.

          So, good luck, amigo and take care, muchacho!

          +0 -0
        • felterupgood December 8, 2017

          @maddog123

          Maybe he'll lick your ass till you can get out to the outhouse and retrieve your toilet paper.

          +1 -1
  • peaks December 7, 2017

    I bet that Zip threw the ass-plug into a WOK of shrimp fried rice when she went back to work at 'Happy Dragon'.

    +3 -2
  • ouch December 7, 2017

    Stairway to heaven

    +9 -9
    • kore December 7, 2017

      @ouch Hey, easy on my baby mama, lmao

      +3 -2
    • freddykrueger December 7, 2017

      @ouch...until someone slips in it and busts their melon!

      +4 -0
      • ouch December 8, 2017

        @freddykrueger lol

        +1 -1
  • ketamine<3 December 7, 2017

    I want to be inside miss California..

    +3 -1
    • letmefindout December 7, 2017

      @ketamine<3

      More like the Guide to Alabama (The symbolism of gleefully taking it in the ass). Know what I mean Felterupgood?

      +4 -1
      • felterupgood December 7, 2017

        @letmefindout

        Come on down... We'll show you how to take it in your ass.

        +2 -2
        • letmefindout December 8, 2017

          @felterupgood

          And just how do you deal with that prolapse?

          +1 -0
          • felterupgood December 8, 2017

            @letmefindout

            We have a donkey for that problem.

            +1 -1
  • maxm60 December 7, 2017

    Now the song 'Californication' is starting to make sense!

    +3 -1
  • 72jayd December 7, 2017

    Sure can’t be Japan. She’s not eating shit.

    +2 -3
    • frank n. stein December 7, 2017

      @72jayd Get new material!

      +1 -1
      • 72jayd December 7, 2017

        @frank n. stein Get some material.

        +1 -1
  • zhiguly December 7, 2017

    Marry, fuck, kill? All three.

    +2 -0
  • motorboatagoat December 7, 2017

    Is this why my hotel room wasn’t serviced?

    +2 -0
  • bft$crew December 7, 2017

    No, that’s really how it is here in CA guys. There are tons of hot Asians finger fucking everywhere.

    +3 -0
  • offdhook December 7, 2017

    Hallooo, that thing u spilt there is going to slip someone down. Get a mop

    +2 -0
  • me68 December 7, 2017

    now assuming it is full female, knowing you guys itd be risky,,,,,,,,,,,but having said that, fuck she is hot !!!!!!!!!!!!!

    +3 -1
  • ithinkimdumb December 7, 2017

    Time to make some Fish Ball Soup!...

    +3 -0
  • boofano December 7, 2017

    boring.

    +2 -0
  • hiwudjablome December 7, 2017

    Im sick as hell guys ,, the malaira has come back to fuck with me hard,, but id still let this bitch Blo-Me

    +4 -1
    • felterupgood December 7, 2017

      @hiwudjablome

      Hope you get better soon

      +2 -1
    • fiddledeedee December 7, 2017

      @hiwudjablome

      Yeah, get better soon! We're all pullin' for ya. Oh wait, fuck, that sounded bad...

      +2 -0
  • airsporter December 7, 2017

    Well I've heard of being born with a Silver spoon in your mouth...

    Guess California has to go one better.

    +4 -1
    • sarge07 December 7, 2017

      @airsporter thanks to Governor Moonbeam, everyone in California is taking it up the ass.

      +1 -4
  • omnomnom December 7, 2017

    Ayy I live 15 min away from Pismo beach

    +2 -0
  • nybadguy December 7, 2017

    I'd rather smoke some cali bud. That there bitch is probably infested with the HIV.

    +1 -1
    • happyjack December 7, 2017

      @nybadguy we voted and approved the use and purchase of recreational canabis back in November 2016 but it doesn't go into effect until January 1st of 2018.

      The low prices may get even lower. The cost of marijuana today is literally half of what it cost 20-25 years ago. And of course it's at least twice as potent now!

      +6 -0
      • nybadguy December 7, 2017

        @happyjack I'm just waiting on your invitation to crash over for a weekend. Lol

        +2 -0
        • happyjack December 7, 2017

          @nybadguy haha my wife would throw us both out

          +3 -0
          • nybadguy December 7, 2017

            @happyjack HAHA. i hear ya. Mine is the same damn way.

            +2 -0
      • fatlarry December 7, 2017

        @happyjack cheap weed `.10 grocery bags when you go to the store califonia is fucked as it can be

        +2 -0
        • happyjack December 7, 2017

          @fatlarry haha true story about the grocery bags lol

          +3 -0
  • happyjack December 7, 2017

    Views like these, 420 less than a month away from being legal for recreational use, and nobody walking around mumbling sheboon........yeah it's expensive out here, but you get what you pay for.

    +5 -0
    • GrimmWilder December 7, 2017

      @RuPaul

      SHEBOON is MY fuckin word, and you ain't paid to use it!......lol

      +6 -3
  • felterupgood December 7, 2017

    Call me old school but i just don't get that door knob in the ass. It looks like something ill be using when I'm90 to keep from shitting in my bed.

    +3 -3
    • happyjack December 7, 2017

      @felterupgood So in another 10 years

      +5 -0
    • sarge07 December 7, 2017

      @felterupgood oh lord

      +1 -4
  • dry terd December 7, 2017

    Nice!!! I get off to fapping gooks!

    +1 -0
  • frank n. stein December 7, 2017

    ZZZzzzz. Vaginas are WEIRD!

    +1 -0
  • picklehiesner December 7, 2017

    I wish I was her butt plug

    +2 -1
    • sarge07 December 7, 2017

      @picklehiesner well, in another week with that in there, you can be

      +1 -4
  • sarge07 December 7, 2017

    Daddy must be so proud

    +1 -4
  • fockenperv December 7, 2017

    Im from California and see this shit all the time, sometime 15 times a day

    +2 -0
  • alexnf December 7, 2017

    SHOCKING!!!!

    +1 -0
  • fatlarry December 7, 2017

    bungdazled

    +1 -0
  • bedpaneddie December 7, 2017

    I don't like soy sauce that much...

    +1 -0
  • sleeko December 7, 2017

    Yep, looks like my home state. Nothing, but immigrants.

    +0 -0
  • digurgutsout December 7, 2017

    That bitch is too in shape for me , I'll stick to my thick NY bitches

    +0 -0
    • sleeko December 9, 2017

      @digurgutsout Like you have a choice.

      +0 -1
      • digurgutsout December 11, 2017

        @sleeko pull my dick out of ur throat

        +0 -0
  • 2lbnutsack December 7, 2017

    Not one tranny cock....odd

    +1 -0
    • sarge07 December 8, 2017

      @2lbnutsack are you complaining?

      +1 -0
  • pfhunktu3d December 8, 2017

    "AND thats when they gang raped me officer.... NO i was NOT doing anything provacitive." "They, they, they. (sniffle) just came outta nowhere and raped me".....

    +1 -0
  • los_pedos_saco December 10, 2017

    California sushi on the go

    +0 -0
 
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