Family Guy : God Picking Up a Broad at The Bar

Jesse U.
4,356 Views 1 decade ago

I have to say Family Guy has to be the funniest animated series ever created.

52 Comments
  • leopard March 24, 2006

    Jesus Christ is coming back soon. To help destory our Foes once and for all.

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  • tree88 March 24, 2006

    ^^^^Good, but we needed him long ago....

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  • justwrong March 24, 2006

    ^^^you did have him long ago, and you strung him up. Besides, if he did come back, all the neocons and thier puppets at fox would just deride him as a liberal.

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  • naughty_samara March 24, 2006

    LMAO!

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  • kkkkilla March 24, 2006

    Amazing how a country always hollering GOD BLESS AMERICA has so many non-believers in it. People talking this evolution crap. Hating on others. Lying, cheating, stealing, legalized abortion(murder), and the list goes on. WHY SHOULD HE BLESS AMERICA? Alot of ppl think being american is being Christian. WRONG.... we are our own worst foes and our days are numbered so the Anti-Christ won't have to deal with our dumb asses.

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  • buddernutts March 24, 2006

    Probly because the good book (which ever one you want to read) says to even pray for your enemies.

    Might as well pray for ourselves too, because we are some of our very worst own enemies.

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  • twizzled March 24, 2006

    Actually, our country was founded on keeping religion seperate from everything else... god damn sheep try to push it on all the other weak minded souls.

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  • rockybalboa March 24, 2006

    ^^^ BULLSHIT. Most of the United States founders were christian. If you don't know shit about something, then STFU. And religion has been traditionaly tied to law. Liberalism is a modern tendency and NOT a national value. Freedom of speech is. That is why you and me can write shit in here without fearing a motherfucking sensor or dictator. GOD BLESS AMERICA, COÑO

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  • kkkkilla March 24, 2006

    God is in every aspect of your life weather you know it or not. How can He be seperated from everything else when He's indirectly (and sometimes directly) involved in everything except sin. If this country was founded on keeping religion seperate, it;s so there would be no guilt for the crime of murdering the natives and stealing their land.

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  • rockybalboa March 24, 2006

    Well kkkkkkkkkilla I have to admit I agree somewhat with you. You are off my niggers list now. God bless you and GOD BLESS AMERICA.

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  • prowler67 March 24, 2006

    God sucks you know it now stop pushing a belief that is based on a book of lies on us.

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  • rockybalboa March 24, 2006

    Well, why don't you tell me something better to believe in?

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  • youngblood48 March 24, 2006

    very good ladies and gentlemen! nobodys cracking on each other, guess its shows we all have alittle religon in us! killa im impressed!

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  • youngblood48 March 24, 2006

    ^^^i sorry metal

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  • fat_fag March 24, 2006

    you are right. God is a part of the state laws in the USA, it says in the Koran that you must honor your parents, not kill, be peaceful and kind and not steal. Allah is great. Muhammed is part of the fabric of justice and society. America, fuck yea!*kisses a Koran*

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  • kkkkilla March 24, 2006

    ^^^^^Be careful with that Koran man.^^^^^^^

    Muhammed never crawed up on a cross to save anybody's lost souls. JESUS DID. Not trying to knock anybody's religion but be careful not to follow a false religion. Your Soul Is At Stake. When He said I AM THE WAY he meant just that. There is only 1-one-1 true religion. CHRISTIANITY. And keep in mind, TRUE CHRISTIANITY IS MORE THAN JUST RELIGION, IT'S A RELATIONSHIP. LOL

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  • prowler67 March 24, 2006

    well rocky why not come to the forums and I'll tell you all about it. Oh and none of that pussy hit and run shit.

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  • justwrong March 24, 2006

    evolution is crap KKKKilla? Are you fucking serious? Please explain to me without invoking the bible how evolution is crap. I dare you to go to any community college and take a biology course and a physical anthropology course. It will not cost very much and will be quite eye opening. If you still believe that it is crap, then do me a favor. From now on please refuse any medical help when in need. All of medicine is based on biology, as is the basic and advanced models of human evolution. Modern drugs that can save your life in event of a heart attack, stroke, disease Etc, is based on knowledge of cells and cell structure, not to mention DNA and RNA. Like it or not, we have evolved over the last few million years. NOT FOUR THOUSAND, as the bible tells you. ohh yeah, hey rocky, most of the founding fathers were Diests, and freemasons to boot. So it can be argued that this is a masonic nation. Read history books for yourself, instead of taking the word of people with a monetary vested interest in you following their words. If you believe in the Bible, do you believe in the entire bible, or just the parts that are convenient for you? Would Jesus want you to call KKKKilla a 'Nigger?" Doubt it. Want to read a great book about Jesus? Read LAMB by Christopher Moore. It is a work of fiction, like the bible. enjoy.

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  • prowler67 March 24, 2006

    ^^^^Well said.

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  • kkkkilla March 24, 2006

    Justwrong, again you are just wrong about some things, not everything. Evolution is crap in the text that this world was formed by some big bang theory and suddenly from nothing came something.

    Sure as time goes on we get more advanced. That's only natural. Biology is valid but it must stay in it's place. Who gives man wisdom? It can't come from nowhere. Medicine and all the advanced technology is all good. Who gave mankind such a thing as a brain. such a complex component of the human body as is all the other organs that all work in sinc with each other. Our bodies couldn't have came about as a result of an accident or a bunch of gasses that came to the point of an explosion. We're too complex for that. Explosions destroy and scatters matter, not collect matter and makes something out of it. I want a new BMW7series. If I close up my garage for a million, gazillion years, then go open it, will i find that brand new BMW that mysteriously was formed from nothing but gasses in the air? I don't think so. Come on. Alot of this is common sinse. Man never came from a monkey. Sure some of us look like monkeys but that's just a result of a creator having some fun. If so then, when will the rest of the monkeys in jungles and zoos become a man? Will they ever? And what determines what race they will be? You plant an apple seed and what do you get? An Apple, not a Pear. A Monkey plants a seed and another monkey is born, Not A Man. So many people want to find reasons to not believe in the REAL CREATOR, or faith in Him. Looks like satin and scientist sometimes work hand-n-hand together.

    If you can be fooled, you can be doomed. Keep in mind that scientist are so wise (they think) that they have become fools. Atleast those who try to convince the world that there could be no creator called GOD. LOL

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  • justwrong March 25, 2006

    oh great, the old dualistic argument of the watch and the watchmaker. O.K. If something cannot come from nothing, then god must have a creator. If god exists, then we can all agree the he(it) is a something. what created him? another god? and what created that? another god. Shall we drop monotheism and adopt polytheism again? What is neat about science is that it is a working model and is not absolute. Static models of origin give no leeway for learning and study, and devolve to fundumentalism. This is what we are up against in the war on terror. there is no room for those folks to learn. when we stop learning, we die. Sorry, got off topic. The universe is expanding. Minds that eclipse mine in the subjects of math and physics have shown beyond doubt that this is so. When this is claimed, it is open to others to rip it apart. So far, though not complete, this model (big bang theory) holds water. Yeah, it is scary, for we are temporary and infintesimal, but it is so.

    Again, a physical anthropology class would go far in explaining to you about evolution. I am not a professional, and will not attempt to explain a semesters worth of study in this forum. Just as a knowledgable preacher could't explain the bible is a short amount of time. I do not know it all. however I will continue to learn and will not allow fears of an invisible evil (satan) get in the way of my learning. Knowledge is just information, and many in mainstream religions do not want us to know information that contradicts what bring them comfort and money. Any monkey alive will not become a man. Some evolved from monkees, (chimps) over many thousands of generations. Same as plants, trees, birds, reptiles and fish. common ancestors appear in the fossil record. Please do not dismiss the information availiable for us to discover. respecfully, justwrong

    P.S. I think it would be neat to have a BMW appear in my garage too. :)

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  • archemedes_rex March 25, 2006

    Don't be too hard on kkkkilla, justwrong. Those who are incapable of grasping science need SOMETHING to explain their existence.

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  • kkkkilla March 25, 2006

    Science isn't everything, and it's the very last thing that matters.

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  • kkkkilla March 25, 2006

    And that God must have had a creator is an old argument. Our logic is like a dirty rag. We know near Nothing. When He said I AM THE FIRST AND THE LAST, THE BEGINNING AND THE END, I believe Him. You don't have to but I choose to.

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  • justwrong March 25, 2006

    I'm not being hard on KKKKilla. He seems like a nice fellow. niether of us will convince each other in this forum. It's just fun to talk shit and fuck wid each other. I will retort that science matters to us every day, particularly physics, and is observable, unlike the invisible man in the sky. For fucks sake, we're sitting at home arguing on a friday night instead of out trying to pull some trim. KKKKilla and I both agree that pussy tastes good. And we agree that Klansmen need exterminatin'. And we agree that BMW's are some pimpin-ass rides. And we agree that Rocky is gay.

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  • kkkkilla March 25, 2006

    ^^^^^^^^^you alright justwrong, LOL^^^^^^^

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  • teamshowoff March 25, 2006

    fuck you ass holes you better live a good life and have as much fun as you can fuck as much pussy as you can and so on and so on once your dead there is no more thats it there is no

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  • teamshowoff March 25, 2006

    GOD there is nothing after death thats why you have kids so they do the same it go over and over so fuck you ass holes

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  • kkkkilla March 25, 2006

    Team, Quit being retarded.

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  • shiver March 25, 2006

    lets all laugh at the retarded americans that say evolution is crap.... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

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  • tattoodave March 25, 2006

    Evolution is a fact of life. Creationism is an extension of Christianity. You dont find creation in some other world religions. The best way to be at peace with yourself(which is really what matters) is to believe what you truly have in your heart, and never waiver. Ever! Of course, Im an athiest, so do what is right for you!

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  • loren_54 March 25, 2006

    WOW. Team IS pretty retarded. He goes from saying I was raped by my father and I'm a cum-slurpin' bitch... to saying he loves me. Fucking moron. I love family guy. Funny shit.

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  • teamshowoff March 25, 2006

    LOREN I LOVE TO SEE YOU DEAD BITCH, OLD SAGGY TIT BITCH, FLABBY BELLY BITCH, BUCK TOOTH BITCH , HAIRY TOE BITCH , YOU OLD SMELLY FART BITCH, I BET YOU KIDS ARE AS UGLY AS YOU ARE BITCH, I WILL PRAY TO THE DEATH GOD, FOR YOUR DEATH YEA YEA YEA YEA HA HA HA HA BOW LEG IT BITCH , BIG HEAD NO NECK BITCH, LONG BACK NO ASS BITCH. YOU ANT SHIT BITCH I AM THE ONE SATIAN LOVES. YEA YEA YEA YEA YEA YOU TWO FACE BITCH SOON YOUR FLEASH WILL BE ON FIRE, YOU WILL SUFFER BITCH, YOUR FAMILY IS DOOMED SOMEONE IN YOUR FAMILY IS GOING TO DIE SOON, SOMEONE YOU LOVE VERY MUCH YEA YEA YEA YEA HA HA HA HA HA, HAVE A NICE DAY? AND MAY GOD BE WITH YOU ?

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  • tattoodave March 25, 2006

    Hey Loren; I think teamshowoff doesnt like you or your opinion very much. Is that obvious to you too?

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  • tattoodave March 25, 2006

    ^^^^I could be wrong, butI dont think so.^^^^

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  • dee123 March 25, 2006

    I gotta role with that KKK dude on this one. And this country is doomed anyway so I guess soon we'll all find out the truth..

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  • dee123 March 25, 2006

    Tattoodave you are completely right in everything you said until you got to the athiest part. but each to his own. I think athiestism is rejection and denial

    of what people know real deep in their heart is real.

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  • tattoodave March 25, 2006

    Whats wrong with the Atheist part? No belief in any particular deity leaves alot of breathing room. I try to do unto others.... but that doesnt mean youll recieve the same treatment. Of course, I tend to evaluate people by their actions, not by the words they speak. As is evedent on this forum, you cant estimate peoples true self by words,,,,half of the people here are probably real good people inside.

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  • dee123 March 25, 2006

    ^^^^^ True in a way, but just remember that your beliefs, for or against, have bo bearing on reality......

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  • tattoodave March 25, 2006

    ^^^^ True, but you can change your surroundings, and your realities, based on what you observe. For example, how many times do you need to touch flames before you realise yuoll get burned?

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  • teamshowoff March 25, 2006

    FUCK A NIGGER AND YOU WHITE FUCK AND GOD....

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  • prowler67 March 25, 2006

    Justwrong and kkkkilla I think you have good points. I am not sure about the big bang or evolution as I have not looked into to it that much, but I really don't care where we came from, what is important is we are here now. I belive science is important to us now as well as personal beliefs. I think we probably all agree that teamshowoff projects himself as a retard though.

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  • teamshowoff March 25, 2006

    i belive science is important now as well as personal beliefs, shut the fuck up asshole i belive that you are a num nut nebbler, so fuck off pussler and die bitch yea yea yea yea

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  • douthinkicare March 26, 2006

    umm what came first the egg or the chicken??

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  • douthinkicare March 26, 2006

    oh and one more thing we all r going to hell in a hand basket ENJOY!!!

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  • justwrong March 26, 2006

    faith is belief in something you know isn't true. many people have faith that Dubya will save us from the evildoers. many have faith that cows are sacred. many have faith that a buncha virgins await them in heaven. many have faith in an old dead jew. nobody has an original faith or belief, they are just what we have been taught or raised to think. Most of them are dependent on geography. Born in Japan? you are probably shinto. Born in Utah? good chance of being mormon. Born in Iran? muslim. Create your own beliefs. Or follow the herd. Oh yeah, I belive that what is in my heart is a few clogged arteries and a coupla chambers. Hearts have no thought and hold no beliefs. Our brains, and to a lesser extent our spinal cord, which, by the way, evolved into our current form, is responsible for our feelings. The heart couldn't care less.

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  • the ridgeruner March 26, 2006

    I don't have a problem with God, just his fan club!

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  • pablosdog March 27, 2006

    Evolution is directed by God as he continues to create a perfect world. If you believe that you are the top of the chain of life you are an egotistical idiot. If you believe that cosmic particles just kept spinning around together and by sheer chance life was formed, love was created and the perfection of this world just happened you are really bad at math. When you start your comment with "faith is belief in something you know isn't true" it removes credibility from anything else you say in your comment because that is too stupid of a statement for anyone to swallow. Almost every single person who is truly accepted as being a genius has stated, categorically, that they have "faith" that God exists and is the Alpha and the Omega. I believe God is love, and when you reach the end of your life and realize that all the times you could have been God, in other words, loving, but were not, then you experience hell in the form of regret. I am sad for teenshowoff because there has obviously not been much love in his/her life.

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  • kkkkilla March 29, 2006

    justwrong.you wrong bout yo definition of faith. that don't make since. What you know bout faith anyway? like dee123 said, your beliefs (or faith),

    has no bearing on reality. And just remember, our knowledge ain't shit, and our technoligy sucks. Just ask one of them aliens and their U.F.O.'s with a flight pattern we can't explain. Quiet and super quick. Moves we can't even pull on the dance floor.....LOL

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  • bubbazrudeboy April 4, 2006

    jesus loves us each and every one no matter what we do

    we just have to believe and trust that he does love us and will return to us one day sooner or later its just a matter of time

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  • vergilius April 6, 2006

    Oh man, there are so many reasons why this thread is hilarious. A religious arguement erupted over a Family Guy clip! And then there's the Christians who don't know their faith, the Atheists who don't quite know their stance, and the people who try to merge the two.

    The Bible makes it quite clear that all life was made by him. The Bible also makes it quite clear that God would rather a man fuck a whore than masturbate. It also pretty much lays out that the Anti-Christ is not an Anti-Christian entity, and that there will be multiple Anti-Christs through time until the End comes. God makes it quite clear in both testaments that he hates those who are not of his chosen faith. God is not Love. Christ is Love. Though Christ is a part of the Holy Trinity, he is not God. As Christ said in Matt 13:32 "But of that day or that hour not a person knows, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father." This verse shows that Christ the Son is part of the Trinity and part of God, but not God the Father. God is Knowledge and Justice. Love he left for the Son.

    I find the mention of "Where was love created then?" rather amusing. It was created in our brains. The brains God gave us. He did not create emotions or feelings, or such ideas. He let us do it on our own through the act of free will.

    Meanwhile, faith is what you believe in, no matter if it is true or not. If you think the sun shall come up tommorow at morning, you have faith in the sun to do that.

    As for "Man must have been created by someone or something, else we could not possibly be here! Just look at watches!" Well, you see, there's a problem with that logic. Watches are artificial. They do not naturally occur. Each and every watch must be created by someone or something? Would you claim that humans are artificial? That we are all fake? Even if God created the first two humans, all others were made through natural means. Humans are natural, not artificial. Now, if you want to continue that arguement do so. Say that us being here is proof that someone created us. You come across a tree that has falled in the forest. You say it was chopped down. Evolutionists would say lightning hit it. If all you do is rely upon the fact that the tree has fallen, you can not begin to figure out what actually got rid of it. Inspect it to see if there are ax marks on it, or if it has burns.

    I also notice mentions of aliens by a Christian. In Genesis, it is plainly stated that Man is the only creature with enough intelligence to create. He granted this ability to us, and us alone, so that we could rule over all other life in Creation. Saying that intelligent aliens who build advanced spacecraft exist says that God did not grant us that lone ability and that he did not make us cheifs of all other life in Creation.

    You can not pick and choose which part of the Bible to believe in. It is God-Breathed, each and every word written by him through the prophets and Disciples. In Revelations, it is made clear that denying one part of the Bible means denying all parts of the Bible.

    There is no room for metaphorical interpretation, because it supports what you want to be more than what the Bible says it to be. God had the Bible written like he did, to make sure people would know unalltered truth, and made it so even simple people, of the lowest intelligence, could understand. There is no metaphor, there is no "Well, this is what Matthew is actually saying here..." and there is no room for doubt.

    Meanwhile, now that the Christian part is out of the way, let's go to the other side.

    The reasons monkeys have yet evolve into humans, is because they have already evolved. During evolution, it is very common for species to branch off. What we call monkeys, apes, and the like are not the creatures we evolved from. They just happen to be closer to that part of the family tree than we are.

    As for the "If I plant an apple seed, what do I get? An apple tree! Always!" arguement, that is not true. Aurochs became cows. Some wolves became dogs, and others stayed wolves. The same is true for the sabertooth tiger. Some stayed large, others went small. Although they are the same type of creature, they are not the same creature. An apple and a pear are the same kind of fruit, but not the same fruit.

    As for the Big Bang, there is very little doubt that it happened, in one way or another. Our universe is deteriorating. All galaxies are moving away from a central point. And as time goes on, entropy will take over.

    However, speaking of entropy, before that old arguement comes up, entropy only applies to closed systems, that have no extra input. The universe is a closed system. The Earth is not. Sunlight comes in from afar, and provides heat to the planet, thus adding more energy. Comets and meteors hit, and with them brings new material.

    As for evolution, I have to say the stuff they teach you in high school is wrong. That was disproven over a hundred years ago. Why? Because it was replaced by 2 new ideas, which explained things better. Not too long ago, those were replaced by a new theory, which was much more complex, had a large amount of evidence behind it, and covered everything that could be covered.

    And the "a theory is just a theory, not a law" argument? Theory means something very differentl in scientific terms than it does in casual speech. What casual speech calls a theory is what scientific terms label as a hypothesis. A theory which is an idea that has been put through numerous tests, is nearly universally agreed to be the truth, and does not apply to everything, everywhere. A Law is an idea which has been put through numerous tests, is nearly universally agreed to be the truth, and applies to everything, everwhere. There are four Laws: Gravity, Electromagnetism, the Strong Nuclear Force, and the Weak Nuclear Force. Evolution can not be a law, because evolution doesn't apply to the creation of rocks, or the way water holds together.

    Atheism is not a rejection of what a person KNOWS to be true. It is a stated belief that there is no higher power of any kind. Much as how theism is a stated belief that there is a higher power or powers.

    Now, on to some other minor issues:

    The Founding Fathers were Christian, but this does not mean that the country was founded on Christianity as a result. A person is very easily abled to create something, and not have it mixed with their personal religious beliefs. Thomas Jefferson cut out any mention of the Lord, the Son, and such in his Bible. Why? Because he thought the message was what mattered, and the characters unimportant. He is who suggested that Church and State be seperate, for he feared that if the two were combined, a totalitarian nation would emerge, one which would not accept change, and could not comprehend what was going on in the world around it. Also, England tied Church into State, and man, the Founding Fathers didn't like those guys for some reason.

    Oh, and seperation of Church and State is not in the constitution. Jefferson wrote many letters about it, and through all his letters it became a common, accepted idea. Though it is not in the Constitution, as the Constitution currently stands, is is very well implied.

    Unable to belief that God is love does not mean that person has not had much love in their life. The love that Christ has for humanity is not the same as the love people have for other people. Those who don't understand that sort of love simply don't understand it. It is foreign from what they associate as love.

    And, ah yes, the "most all geniuses believe in God" argument. Yes, while more than a good few did, especially in the old days, as knowledge and science advanced, this is no longer true. Most geniuses nowadays believe it to be true. If you walk up to a member of MENSA or the like, a vast majority will tell you they are Atheist. Also, the amount of people who believe in God and Creation decreases the higher the education level the person has. Of the people who have finished getting their doctorates, only 1.2% believe in God. Meanwhile, those who have only graduated high school are around 40%. What truth is revealed to people while they get their doctorate? What truth is told to those who have not entered college, that is withheld from all others? If God created the brain, surely he wouldn't let the smartest people be the most easily fooled.

    And just for a nice finish: The egg came first. Reptiles were around before avians.

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  • pooslinger4000 April 15, 2008

    All I can say id that you all are argueing about something that your not even sure is true or flase the best thing anyone can do is believe in your choice and hope for the best in the end your all dead anyways. so deal with it like the fuck tard that GOD created you as, and as for the koran that's fine and all but you all need to realize that the bible and the koran are 2 seprate truths about GOD that was seperated by some idiots along time ago that thought they could control the populace by force of religion. As far as religion goes it's a complete waste of time Yes I believe in GOD but no where in there does it say I have to go to a church and worship him. It states "Where there are 2 or more talking about him he'll be there!" yes that is Alah as well for those of you who believe in the koran or Jehova and so on and so forth. so if you would like to talk about GOD I'm ready to listen but if you want to talk about religion then you will be and should be ignored for you fallow mans law for understanding GOD there is no way for anyone to understand that which is infinite.

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