Heaven And Hell In Islam

Jesse U.
3,487 Views 1 decade ago

Guy makes a lot of sense. Those poor people are sold bullshit from birth. They are so full of it.

39 Comments
  • dinkydaumarine May 31, 2006

    I don't know about any body else but I'd rather have an experienced piece of ass. I've had a couple of crack whores but thats a little too much experience. Never had a virgin and I'm an an old motherfucker.

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  • lankdog69 May 31, 2006

    thats some funny shit. First post beeatches....

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  • lankdog69 May 31, 2006

    damn.... second post actually beeatches

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  • jgimages May 31, 2006

    as stupid as it sounds thats what these arab motherfuckers believe.....i am convinced they believe that because thier women here on earth are ugly as hell so maybe the 72 in heaven are better

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  • 2npink1nstink May 31, 2006

    these arabs must really shit themselves when they wake up dead, and there's no heaven and no fucking virgins!!!

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  • bacord18 May 31, 2006

    72 virgins? hmm.. i think my penis would fall off after that... that doesn't motivate me enough to plant ied's and saw off heads... i'll pass..

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  • justwrong May 31, 2006

    Ok kiddies, story time. Ahmed straps on a vest and wanders into a crowded plaza and hits the self destruct button, dies ascends,and all 72 virgins are on the rag when Ahmed shows up. When he gets there mohammed hands him a box of pigskin condoms and tells him that the virgins are christian. when he goes to put the jimmyhat on, he discovers that he blew his penis off with the dynamite vest. So Ahmed takes a walk and sees Allah taking a shit by a tree and Ahmed confronts him. Blessed father, what gives, why am I being treated other thatn my promised due? Allah wipes his ass, pulls up his pants and gives Ahmed a rather stern look. My son, when you blew yourself up you killed many of your brother muslims. For this you must be punished. If you will eat the shit I have shat, you will be given your penis back and assigned 72 new virgins. Ahmed dives headfirst into the steaming pile of poop and starts eating with gusto. He hears a noise behind him, and sure enough there are 72 virgins. 72 well hung black homosexual virgin men. sleep tight

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  • dinkydaumarine May 31, 2006

    justwrong that is fuckin beautiful.

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  • jgimages May 31, 2006

    justwrong....."if you will eat the shit that i shat"........that my friend has got to be a classic....goes down as one of my favorite qoutes of all time....lol.....

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  • jennycks May 31, 2006

    justwrong you're awesome! why is it that they cant fuck virgins when they are alive???? id go that route.

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  • smellmytaco May 31, 2006

    You guys are so outta whack with what your saying..i can't even talk to you guys cause you make no valid points..we could dominate the world if we wanted too....And contrary to what some people say...you can get VA benefits no matter if your in the military or if you have kids and you were in the military....no 30% dumbass. Benefits stem a long way past the injured. But if you guys dont understand the way our government/military works then i guess i can be of no help to you...good luck guys and my god have mercy on you all.

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  • dinkydaumarine May 31, 2006

    I don't know what to say to a guy like you. You got your own Jihad going on man. I, by the way get V.A. bennies for being a mental defective. Thanks for giving us a plug to God.

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  • justwrong May 31, 2006

    WE COULD DOMINATE THE WORLD IF WE WANTED TO? Now I know exactly how fucking braindead you actually are. How? How would we do that? How would we pay for it? Jesus tittyfucking christ!! Wise up lad.

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  • dinkydaumarine May 31, 2006

    Hey Smelly, Where you from seriously.Are you taking your meds like a good patient. Also you seem to be quite jealous of justwrong. Why cause he makes you look foolish?

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  • jgimages May 31, 2006

    ......ladies and gentleman look whos back .....its Mr "smellytaco".......okay taco buster whats the problem now....you wanna run the country.....or you want to argue about health benefits....hey how about immigration.....tells us what we should do fajita face.....lets go......fix our problems here with your special bean potion.......listen drippy shut the fuck up wash your dishes put on your sombrero and be on your way.....

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  • hail2redskins May 31, 2006

    THERE YA GO......makes no sense right....why would god....or any good being make these stupid ignorant rules....i mean cmon......same thing goes for our beliefs....u people are so ignorant.....the only rules that exist....are the basic rules......be a good person with strong morals....steal only if u have too....and if u have to steal it should only be food or cloths or anything nescary for living....if u have to murder....murder for a noble cause...to protect u or a loved one....dont liter dont make babies unless u can afford it.....dont kill animals unless for use of food.....nothing more...etcetera etcetera....cmon people its difficult....just be a good person....no disrespect to god or my gaurdian angel...but fuck religion......follow the basic laws of life..that simple

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  • harryballzich May 31, 2006

    ROFLMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  • boonta May 31, 2006

    WWW.PROPHETOFDOOM.NET

    This is what Islam is really all about... not good.

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  • 123654 May 31, 2006

    this guy was in the american version of The Office....and it was utter shit.

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  • 3sal May 31, 2006

    at least they have dreams and believes about somthing,,, :)

    tell me,, what do u think u will find up there when u killed by drugs (4 example :) )

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  • calibaldie June 1, 2006

    ja ja ja maybe with them 72 virgins in heaven the can equal 2 set of teeth and enough dots to complete a connect a dot puzzle?

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  • stubart June 1, 2006

    my uncle died when a 50lbs bale of marijuana fell on his head so yeah he was killed by drugs and you could be next muahahahaha!!!

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  • mr_username June 1, 2006

    Haha. Good skit.

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  • justwrong June 1, 2006

    O.K., you didn't ask me, but farbeit for me to keep my yap shut. I would hate to dissapoint the regulars. Yeah, those guys have dreams, but they are the dreams that they are told and taught to dream. They COULD try to dream something original. They could use drugs and have dreams like this: The needle slips ever so slowly into the blue vein on the right forearm. Ahmed slowly and carefully pushes the plunger on the syringe and immediatly feels the happy warmth start it's fast journey to the epicenter of his brain. "allah mohammed!" he curses as the opiates dance a synergistic polka up his arm. Unknown to Ahmed, the snake who overcharged him sold him pure fucking junk, unlike the cut sown crap that he is used to. The necter hits the reptilian part of hs brain first and and immediatly his breathing slows to a crawl. Sweat beads on his stinky brown forhead. "If Allah is my father, surely my mother was a whore" he thinks. Drooping off into a haze of pleasure, his breathing becomes an inpeceptible annoyance, like the goop at the back of the throat after a glass of milk. An hour later, through lack of oxygen, his soul leaves his withered body for the last time. The coroner marks down the cause of death as accute opiate overdose and syphilis, a gift from an anonymous whore he met in Mecca one steamy ramadan night. When he comes to, he notices that contrary to his upbringing, there is no sign of nubile brown-thighed 14 year old girls. Instead there is a noise he cannot place. A white man comes to him and says "welcome, my name is William Burroughs, and this is your personal heaven." Ahmed cannot place the language, but he understands it fully. "Let me introduce you to my freinds. This is Ken Kesey and this is Timothy Leary. They will be your guides for the next few days and get you aquainted. Here eat this little piece of paper." Ahmed eats the paper and notices a clarity coming through the music that has been throbbing in the background. " what is that heavenly Music?" Ahmed inquires. Ailliam looks at him and smiles. "why that is just the soundtrack provided for you courtesy of GODS FAVORITE BAND. It's got Jerry Garcia and Jimi Hendrix on guitar, John Bonham and Kieth Moon on drums, Ray Charles on piano, and Janis Joplin is singing lyrics provided by John Lennon." Ahmed is overwhelmed by the psychedelic ice cream that is pouring into his ears." Allah be praised!" exclaimes an excited Ahmed. William looks at him funny and says "Not allah you shitstick, Bhudda runs this joint"

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  • pablosdog June 1, 2006

    I think you need a girlfriend! Yes, I know, all those anti-depressants cause ED. But there is always the little blue pill.

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  • 2npink1nstink June 1, 2006

    3sal... you are pathetic defending these people, they dream about killing and maming innocent people and your defending them!! Also how can i get killed by drugs when i'm clean? Unless a 50lb bale of marijuana falls on my head!! Get a life and some morals asshole!!

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  • dinkydaumarine June 1, 2006

    3sal I hope you're not serious. Then again maybe your not American, but if you are,you're one of those wannabe towelheads, like whatthefuckshisname who fought against Americans. John Lindle or something like that. If you are please kill yourself. Thanks

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  • dinkydaumarine June 1, 2006

    Wow this is cool. Aquote inside of a quote inside of quote inside of another. This new millenium is really fuckin wild. Who woulda thought.

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  • kkkkilla June 1, 2006

    LOL...@...Justwrong.,You mussta been born with a red afro and big feet.

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  • justwrong June 1, 2006

    You ain't kidding Pablo. She's about 1200 miles away at school. Boredom and beer=ranting and raving at a keyboard. I had to answer 3SAL's question of what happens when killed by drugs. If there is a heaven there better be some cool fucking music

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  • uno June 1, 2006

    LMFAO.....jg said "fajita face"

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  • dinkydaumarine June 1, 2006

    justwrong I like the way you handled MickyFinn on the other side. Bravo

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  • justwrong June 1, 2006

    Thanks. the mickyfinn one was fun^^^

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  • thesku11s June 4, 2006

    weak

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  • redwings June 4, 2006

    hhhhh

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  • redwings June 4, 2006

    gay

    gay

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  • juicer June 17, 2006

    Stupid fucking rags...yeah...heaven is full of virgins for terrorist pussies....hahaha...good luck with that. Heaven will be you getting your asses raped by 72 guys...fags.

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  • cbrtion July 14, 2007

    the terrorist should all kill themselves so they can get their 72 virgins. but noooooo they rather stay here and live

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  • stoner6 April 28, 2008

    fuckin camel humps

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