Get Laid Professionally

If you need to get laid, gripped or felt, call in the professionals and let them take care of all your needs. Just lay back and relax, because they've got things under control. You're in good hands now.

  • shadowarior November 27, 2012

    Business had never been better

  • vulture November 27, 2012

    UK area code 01207 covers Consett in County Durham. they'll lay anything that moves up there they aint fussy

  • treehouse21 November 27, 2012

    Call in the next 5 minutes for a free carpet munching!

  • marcodufour November 27, 2012

    Singing "Carpet munching across the pubiverse, always going forwards otherwise it will get perverse! "

  • frankdrebin November 27, 2012

    a room with no windows that moves... sweet!

  • rockinron November 27, 2012

    you can call them or you can crawl up a chickens ass and wait.

  • preferemshaved November 27, 2012

    They have a plumbing division too?

  • spaulding November 27, 2012

    They do it all wearing San Francisco slippers ( knee pads)

  • cyi3eri3ully November 27, 2012

    I had sex with my neighbor this morning. it was fun. shes pretty hot

  • biggertalk November 27, 2012

    Wtf is with the carpet munching comments, and I thought I was being original in the news post for today. Fuckers.

  • playhard24 November 27, 2012

    Unless that van is filled with hookers I don't know what the fuck your talking about.

  • gunz November 27, 2012

    cyi3eri3ully- your gonna get in trouble screwing the neighbors dog dude.

  • mrbigglesworth November 28, 2012

    You just know its some 3 tooth redneck working that van.

  • cyi3eri3ully November 28, 2012

    LoL @ gunz your avatar is a pussy and rightfully so. So go ahead and do us all a favor and shove a tampon in your bloody cunt mouth.

  • gunz November 28, 2012

    ^ ^ ^ thats as about likely as it is you will ever get laid, boy. no chance. now why u so mad? LOL

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