The Happy Newlyweds

Is this what marriage is like? Maybe I had it all wrong. I thought the gun would be pointed at his dick and balls. She's probably already got them in her purse. Get ready for 50 years of bitching, guy. And don't expect any of the homemade sammiches to make it to your plate.

28 Comments
  • marcodufour October 9, 2014

    Adam forget your homo lies, you still want to be gay

    +1
  • longhungwong October 9, 2014

    I'd say shoot me and get it over with now, if she's that big now just imagine after the wedding.

    +0
  • fistermister October 9, 2014

    that's about the only way she'll get someone to marry her fat ass.

    +1
  • captjim October 9, 2014

    If that's' what I'm gonna see when I remove the blindfold... pull the trigger.

    +3
  • browsearound October 9, 2014

    Looks like she won the argument about him putting "I will never eat you twinkies" in his wedding vows

    +0
  • potrostation October 9, 2014

    Seems legit.

    +2
  • bigtex October 9, 2014

    God damn it! I thought I burned all of those!!

    +1
  • whobe October 9, 2014

    She won the argument about the reception being held at Golden Corral buffet.

    +2
  • lobster October 9, 2014

    I really cant understand what the guy's happy about

    +0
  • vulture October 9, 2014

    i would need a gun to my head to marry that bladder of lard

    +0
  • wifebeater2000 October 9, 2014

    for her credit limit id fuck the bitch to

    +0
  • iluvkitty October 9, 2014

    Correction, she DOES make sammiches, they just don't make it to his plate.

    +0
  • iluvkitty October 9, 2014

    Get ready for the same plump pussy lips forever modafoca.

    +0
  • bigdaddy88 October 9, 2014

    Like she can get her fat fingers to get between the trigger and the trigger guard.

    +1
  • rockinron October 9, 2014

    "eat me or else!"

    +0
  • yeayeayea October 9, 2014

    Just pull the trigger and end his misery.

    +0
  • honkie365 October 9, 2014

    He doesn't have to worry about when she'll get fat.

    +3
  • fulmerino October 9, 2014

    Pull the trigger before he smells your rank pussy. Poor guy. No man deservesthat life.

    +0
  • sirfartsalot October 9, 2014

    And people in Ferguson were still pissed.

    +1
  • happyjack October 9, 2014

    She's probably a good cool though. Looks like she's been getting high off her own supply.

    +0
  • eat3beans October 9, 2014

    Never been married never gonna get married, I learned that mistake from everyone I know. You get to keep your paycheck and pension.

    -1
  • moobsmcgee October 10, 2014

    she'd have to hold me at gunpoint to to make me want to marry her fat nasty ass

    -1
  • dullfeathers October 10, 2014

    No wonder why his ring is made of blue steel...she's been jacking him of his lunch money for hungry Howie's pizza for the last two years.

    +1
  • cellule October 10, 2014

    The 2nd amendment is for women as well. Owned!

    -2
  • rodeye2 October 10, 2014

    Wait a minute,he's not black.

    +3
  • handsomedevil October 10, 2014

    Ted: "Japan? What's she doing in Japan?" Pat Healy: "Well, you've heard of mail-order brides? Well, they go that way too." Ted: "What, are they desperate? She's a whale!" Pat Healy: "You can't forget, it's a sumo culture, Ted. They pay by the pound over there. Sorta like, um, tuna."

    -1
  • tardnugget October 18, 2014

    Sausage fingers ahoy, cap'n

    +0
  • airsporter July 19, 2016

    Must have a 'thing' about big fat lasses...May as well shoot - He couldent afford to keep you in pittsas!

    +0
 
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