Can't Find My Maglite

I cannot find my Maglite for the life of me. I know I just used it last night when I took the garbage out, but where the fuck did I put it? I've looked everywhere and no luck. Damn, I really have to take a shit right now.

27 Comments
  • bobbabooey April 10, 2015

    Is this that dude in San Bernardino County who got the fuck beaten out of him after stealing a horse? They might find a boot up there, too.

    +13
  • pizzapie April 10, 2015

    this sheds light on the fact that he's a rump ranger

    +4
  • breakfastblunt April 10, 2015

    Well this a new ad campaign that they can run with: Indestructable and able to satisfy your insatiable needs.

    +3
  • realtalks April 10, 2015

    At least he can use the flashlight to send an SOS in morse code with his asshole

    +4
  • bobbabooey April 10, 2015

    The bitch convinced this dude to try "light ass play".

    +8
  • potrostation April 10, 2015

    Think you're bright, don't you asshole?

    +10
  • whobe April 10, 2015

    If he would have turned it on he might have been able to find it.

    +3
  • stenchfart April 10, 2015

    Im sure this was just an accident

    +1
  • nacho1223 April 10, 2015

    STRAIGHT ALL THE WAY UP ? AAJAJAJAJA JAY YOU BASTARD!

    -5
  • realtalks April 10, 2015

    Yea stenchfart cause most normal people walk and slip ass first onto a vertical standing mag light!

    +3
  • mykejp April 10, 2015

    Turn it on and do your firefly impression.

    +5
  • ouch April 10, 2015

    See I told you the sun shine out of his ass

    +4
  • truckingman April 10, 2015

    A Maglite is not a MF" 'Dildo' Jackass. Good luck getting that MOTHER FUCKER Out With out Surgery, BIOTCH...

    Shaking his head and LMMF"AO, Robert Hallock

    the truckingman.

    +0
  • boney1 April 10, 2015

    undercover cop maybe?

    +4
  • immanuelkunt April 10, 2015

    I asked for a Bud Light, not a butt light.

    +6
  • handsomedevil April 10, 2015

    i bet he pulls asians in wheelchairs for a living

    +1
  • ludenlasivius April 10, 2015

    Lookin for love in all the wrong places...

    +1
  • vaticider April 10, 2015

    Pleas give that guy an MRI....thats the video I need to see...

    +2
  • goodster April 10, 2015

    Adam,, You do know they make hip holsters for those dont you?

    +3
  • longhungwong April 10, 2015

    Somebody must have told him to lighten up a little.

    +1
  • happyjack April 10, 2015

    I've heard you can get a perforated colon doing things like that.

    +3
  • dullfeathers April 11, 2015

    Damn! I believe that Doctor diagnosed it as a night at Adam's 'Light Bright get together' when the lube ran out.

    +2
  • picklehiesner April 11, 2015

    Why the X-Ray his word wasn't good enough

    +5
  • bobbabooey April 11, 2015

    Lighten up Francis.

    +3
  • lu86er April 11, 2015

    After seeing this, the "fucilli Jerry" doesn't' seem so bad after all.

    +1
  • realtalks April 11, 2015

    Rockinron sent in his X-ray from his perforated colon

    +4
  • truckingman April 11, 2015

    Maybe that is what Ron did, Realtalks that is great ideal...

    Sincerely, Robert Hallock

    the truckingman.

    +1
 
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