Knock Knock

Ok, it’s time for big dick jokes, I’ll go first. My dick is so big, sometimes it jerks me off. My dick is so big, it has a horizon. My dick is so big, they cold run the Indy 500 on it, with no turns. My dick is so big, it has its own fraternity, Delta Theta Cock. Post some of yours below!

49 Comments
  • shizzle1769 August 9, 2005

    my dick is so big it has its own people. my dicks people will call your people well do lunch. my dick is so big popcorn sizes come in small medium large and my dick. my dick has a shadow. my dick gets in to the club before my. come on people i can go alllllllll day.my dick is so big when people say quit dicking around i reply i cant. my dick is big it wears glasses. my dick is so big it has its own dick and my dicks dick is bigger than ur dick duece

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  • tudogaiman August 9, 2005

    wow

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  • big bull August 9, 2005

    Well I got a yard full of dick, a bucket full of balls, and enough hair on my ass to weave an Indian blanket!!!!

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  • bbeens August 9, 2005

    My dicks so big when I tried out for the pole vault, they to me to grab a pole, and I said no thanks already got one! My dicks so big they wrote a fairy tale about me called Dickpunzle!

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  • shizzle1769 August 9, 2005

    alright here goes round two..... my dick is so big some guy a long time started callin it moby and wrote some book about it.my dick is so big he typed this sentence. my dick is so big it has better crdeit than me. my dick is so big viagra actually makes it shrink. my dick is so big that evertime i cum an angel gets its wings. my dick...... yall get it come on

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  • frootyhooty August 9, 2005

    My dick has to have batteries.

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  • tomslick_stl August 9, 2005

    Mine is small. Thank you and good night.

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  • archemedes_rex August 9, 2005

    That was the funniest yet, Tomslick! By the way, my dick's so big I have to pay property taxes on it.

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  • archemedes_rex August 9, 2005

    Wait, there's more... My dick's so big, they took pictures of it from the Space Shuttle. My dick's so big, I'm dating the 50-foot Woman, and still have to buy K-Y by the pallet. I could think these up all night.

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  • vanilla_cream August 9, 2005

    LMA Hooty! Sorry about your luck tom, lol.

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  • vanilla_cream August 9, 2005

    **LMAO Hooty....**

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  • trojen August 9, 2005

    LMAO hooty-- I upgraded-- mt dick plugs into the wall-- no more runnin outta batteries when ur just to THAT point

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  • mandapanda06 August 9, 2005

    Haha...jesus...do guys honestly sit around and think about this?........hell sounds like a plan to me! :)

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  • tomslick_stl August 9, 2005

    My dick is so big I have a sidecar on my harley for it. My dick is so big that when it gets hard the rest of my body shrivles from lack of blood. My dick is so big that it has been mistaken for a scud missle back in the war. Sorry guys and gals, me and Tiny Tom were feeling left out. =)

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  • kimmer August 10, 2005

    No dick here.......

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  • sweet_lovable August 10, 2005

    LMAOOOOooooooo

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  • cykomaton August 10, 2005

    My dick is so big people can swing from it. My dick is so big you can use it to play jump-rope

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  • smartasscop August 10, 2005

    MY DICK IS SO BIG IT HAS IT'S OWN ZIP CODE ...

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  • frootyhooty August 10, 2005

    I tried to plug my dick in, but it blew a fuse. Have to stick with batteries.

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  • eightyj August 10, 2005

    My dick is so big it's shadow weighs 500 pounds. My dick is so big I can vote in every state in America. My dick is so big they are going to use it to to hold up the future space station until they get the gyroscope started.

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  • vanilla_cream August 10, 2005

    My dick is so big my boyfriend keeps it in his pants for me. He lets me get it out and play with it all the time.

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  • mandapanda06 August 10, 2005

    And the madness continues...lol im thinkin vanilla's is the best yet

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  • eweotter August 10, 2005

    Zip Code, smartasscop???, Hell, mine covers two TIME ZONES..lol

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  • quteasheaven August 11, 2005

    my dick is so big a blow job from hoover wouldn't satisfy me

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  • orgasmic-bacon August 11, 2005

    You know why i hate pissin outside? cause my dick gets dirt all over it.

    If anyone wants to post the midget and the donkey joke i highly suggest it

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  • rockybalboa August 11, 2005

    Ok, My Goddamn dick is average sized, BTW is 5'8" the average right? It gets bigger when I see a young, sexy and attractive native american girl.

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  • idril August 11, 2005

    Your dicks are so big no one will fuck you. 5 inches hits the spot.

    Oh and your dicks are so "big" your truck, gun, sports car, house, mistress, bbq grill, dog, lawn, lawn mower are so big and fancy to make up for it.

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  • tookalook August 11, 2005

    My dick is 7 inches, not too many women like it that thick though.

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  • moonchild69 August 12, 2005

    my dick is perfect, soft, silky, goes deep, grinds exceptionally well, makes me moan with intense pleasure every time, multiple times, and it is attached to my husband LOL

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  • tumblin_dice August 13, 2005

    Oh Idril, I DO like your post!!!! Truth in advertising.)Well my cock isn't particulary big but it's my dick and my soap and I'll wash it as fast as I want, thank you very much.

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  • archemedes_rex August 15, 2005

    So, who's the winner of the jack--er, joke off, Jay?

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  • babyg-string August 15, 2005

    i bet there dicks r the opposite of really wat there describing....sorry guys...

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  • thesku11s August 15, 2005

    My Cock is so BIG they use it to hold the space shuttle up.

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  • thesku11s August 15, 2005

    My dick is so long I have girfriends in four countries.

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  • sbarne8 August 16, 2005

    my dick is only 2 inches from the ground

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  • rockybalboa August 17, 2005

    FUCKING LOL @ tremblindice

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  • naughty_samara August 21, 2005

    ROFLMAO u guys!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!this is the funniest shit EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  • allengator August 22, 2005

    My dick was small until I met a genie. I said to him, I want my dick to touch the ground.... both my legs fell off. My dick is so big I don't walk up and stick it in, I stick it in and walk up. My dick is so big it has its own gravity. My dick is so big black guys are embarrassed to shower with me. My dick is so big it looks like a baby arm gripping a Q-ball...need I continue?

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  • spongemike August 25, 2005

    MY DICK IS SO BIG IT HAS A MOON.

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  • kingjohnny August 31, 2005

    HAY SHIZZLE ALL THAT SHIT IS FROM DREW CAREY'S "101 MY BIG DICK JOKES". TRY COMING UP WITH UR OWN. OR NEVER MIND YOU CAN SUITE UR SELF AND MAKE UP SMALL DICK JOKES

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  • morton February 28, 2006

    my dick used to be small, but now my dick is so big I can actually see it! ha ha. okay, not funny.

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  • campo September 7, 2006

    My dick's so big, it has a knee cap and wear's a boot.

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  • monster June 15, 2008

    my dick is so big scientists call i EARTH. my dick is so big, jupiter gets jealous. my dick is so big, i use it as a pogo stick. my dick is so big, when japanese girls see it they scream "GODZEELAH!" my dick is so big, NASA used it as a prototype space shuttle then decided to use a smaller model cuz my dick was too heavy and they didnt have enough fuel to launch it into space. my dick is so big i couldnt into your mothers massive pussy. my dick is so big i had to buy my own jet to fly anywhere cuz the airlines charged me for all the overhead compartments. my dick is so big, bill gates doesnt have enough money to buy it. my dick is so big i cant go swimming anymore... cuz the last time i did, i flooded indonesia with a fatty tsumani. my dick is so big, the only pussy i can fuck belongs to katrina.... hurricane katrina. my dick is so big, the last time i came, mount st. helens exploded.

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  • north_brutha34 April 2, 2009

    my dick is so big it can see over the steering wheel

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  • mrbone August 13, 2009

    My dick is so big it was born 6 hours earlier than the rest of my body. My dick is so big its head is in a different time zone to my balls. My dick is so big low flying aircraft have to avoid it. My dick is so big that when I orgasm my load blocks out the sun for a week. My dick is so big it has to wear an oxygen mask.

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  • mrbone August 13, 2009

    My dick is so big there is an observatory on top of it. My dick is so big people climb it instead of Mount Everest. My dick is so big you could walk to the moon on it.

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  • fuckyourself58 August 18, 2009

    MY DICK IS SO HUGE......................................I WOULD USE IT AS A BASEBALL BAT...........TO CRACK ALL OF YOUR FUCKING HEADS OPEN FOR BEING SOO IGNORANT.... AND I WOLD BEAT YOUR MOTHERS WITH IT FOR GIVING BIRTH TO ALL OF YOU

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  • rockinron April 5, 2010

    my dick so big its got its own area code!! my dick so big that no one ever saw the end of it until the hubble telescope went into service!! my dick so big theUN council had to name it and recognise it as a ne continet!! my dick so big your momma cum so hard that your grandma and old lady had orgasms!!

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  • flex7200 November 9, 2010

    My dicks so big its got its own dick and my dicks dick is bigger than your dick!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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