Litho On The Boobies Subject

on 10.27.2000

So, me and Craz were shootin a game of pool the other night over at his pad when we got on the subject of breast. Craz had the brilliant idea that since boobies are both of our favorite things, that maybe I should write an article about them.

I can do that…

Boobies… Bolt-ons, Bongos, Boulders, Bumpers, Cans, Cantaloupes, Challoopas, Dairies, Droopers, Dumplings, Gazangas, Grapefruits, Handwarmers, Hangers, Happy Sacks, Hooters, Jugs, Knee Ticklers, Knobs, Knockers, Mammoth Mammary Monuments, Melons, Milk Bottles, Milk Cans, Mountains, Pillows, Rack, Set, Tits, Twins.

What ever you call em… Lord, I love em. Women often ask me, "Why are you looking at my chest when I’m trying to talk to you?" The answer… well, I am just fascinated by those beautiful udders you got. It’s a funny thing how men are so attracted to a woman’s breasts… and I honestly can’t explain what the attraction is.

Maybe it has something to do with infancy and the sub conscious memories of the security found in our mother’s arms… That was pretty funny. No, I think its probably just the idea that breast could be another place to wedge our jimmies. Really, lets face it… a woman’s breasts are the only things that gets covered up by a bathing suit that we actually think looks good. I mean the other parts feel good, but they just don’t have the same visual appeal. There is just something about them. They come in all shapes and sizes. Although some sets are better than others… it is really left up to the individual’s taste and preferences. I personally have never been disappointed when any woman has shucked her shirt.

Let’s have a look at the anatomy of the breast… from a hooterholic’s point of view.

First off there is the nipple. Now I have seen nipples on a woman from the size of a quarter to the size of the mouth of a Dixie cup (16 oz)… about 4 inches in diameter. Men usually spend too much time around the nipple area, according to most women I talk too… but while they should have their mouths on other parts of the lady’s body, men insist on hangin around those nipples. Nipples feel great barely brushing a man’s chest… but they feel real good barely brushing his knees.

Second, there is… um… well… second, there is the rest of the boobs. The… um… rest of the boobs is very important. The size of the boobs are the eye catcher for men. Ladies often think that men staring at a woman with huge breast are pigs… but come on. Its like a Hummer parked at a Saturn dealership. Of course the men are gonna stare at the Hummer… men love Hummers. Now, I know a woman can’t help it if she looks good… but men can’t help but get a good look. That doesn’t make us pigs, it makes us men.

Now there seems to be an ever-increasing market for these boob jobs. I knew a girl that got one a while back, and she showed them to me after she got them… My God!!! What are you girls thinking? I have never seen such a bruised up mangled mess in my whole life. Why on earth would you do that? This particular girl said she did it because she’s a bartender, and she thought she’d get bigger tips, plus she just wanted bigger boobs. Well, if you girls think that a boob job is gonna get you bigger tips… up… hmm… you might be right. But that’s not the point. I personally wouldn’t tip any more than normal, just because I like the real deal. Now I know you can’t tell the difference between real and fake boobs, but I frequent the same bars… so if I walk in and one of the tenders has some sudden enlargement in the breast area, I am going to notice… believe me. I wouldn’t tip more.

Ladies, just my personal opinion here… just keep what you have already. If you think that they aren’t good enough, just take your shirt off at the next public gathering you attend. I guarantee, you will be received with massive amounts of masculine applause. I love the real deal.

So ladies, if a man walks up to you and tells you in a very polite way that you have nice breast, ("Wow, I’d love to put my face in between those"), please don’t slap him… he can’t help it, and he could be me.

This is Litho Johnson signing out.

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