Funny Shit

The rules listed below apply to the calling of Shotgun (the passenger seat) in an automobile. These rules are definitive and binding. Section I: The Basic Rules 1. In order to call Shotgun, th...

1. Women wear high heels to bed. 2. Men are never impotent. 3. When going down on a woman, ten seconds is more than satisfactory. 4. If a woman gets busted masturbating by a strange man, she ...

This is our attempt to help all you guys and gals trapped in offices. Human Resources Solves Another Problem It has been brought to management`s attention that some individuals throughout t...

We're sorry that you don't train your fighter pilots better. As a token of our apology, here's a copy of Microsoft Flight Simulator 2000. We're sorry that you're front-line fighter planes can't o...

Rule One If you pull into my driveway and honk you`d better be delivering a package, because you`re sure not picking anything up. Rule Two You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may gl...

The Ghost Shit - The kind where you feel the SHIT come out, have SHIT on your toilet paper, but there is no SHIT in the toilet. The Clean Shit - The kind where you SHIT it out, see it in the toil...

I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. - Frank Sinatra I drink so I can talk to assholes. This includes me....

I think this was written by a women. 1. Your ass is never a factor in a job interview. 2. Your orgasms are real. Always. 3. Your last name stays put. 4. The garage is all yours. ...

I, the penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons: I do physical labor. I work at great depths. I work head first; I do not get weekends off, vacations, or public holida...

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an asshole. WARNING: The cons...

Don't ask me how I know...but this seems pretty true. Craz I AM A COLLEGE STUDENT...I live in a 2 x 2ft cinderblocked prison with no windows. My roommate has sex when I am in the room .... ...

With friends like this, who needs enemies Craz Dear friend, I have made a pledge to you When you are sad, I will get you drunk and help you plot revenge against the s...

Ok, Mike A. sent this to me and made me put it up. I can personally say I have almost all the symptoms. Craz SYMPTOM: Feet cold and wet. FAULT: Glass being held at incorrect angle. ...

An American Corporation You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead. A French Corporation ...