The Good, The Bad, And Diffrent Shits...(this Is Dedicated To My Roomate)

on 01.03.2001

The Ghost Shit - The kind where you feel the SHIT come out, have SHIT on your toilet paper, but there is no SHIT in the toilet.

The Clean Shit - The kind where you SHIT it out, see it in the toilet, but there is nothing on the toilet paper.

The Wet Shit - The kind where you wipe your ass 50 times and it still feels un-wiped so you have to put some toilet paper between your butt and your underwear so you don't ruin them with a brown stain.

The Second Wave Shit - it happens when you're done shitting, you've pulled your pants up to about your knees, and you realize that you have to SHIT some more.

The BRAIN HEMORRHAGE THROUGH YOUR NOSE OR POP A VEIN IN YOUR FOREHEAD Shit - The kind where you strain so much to get it out you practically have a stroke.

The Water Breaker/Iceberg Shit - The kind where the SHIT is so long that the end of it sticks out of the toilet water.

The Richard Simmons Shit - The kind where you SHIT so much that you lose 30 pounds.

The Corn Shit - duhh...self-explanatory.

The Lincoln Log Shit - The kind of SHIT that is so huge that you are afraid to flush the toilet without breaking it into a few pieces with your toilet brush.

The Drinker's Shit - The kind that you have the morning after a long night of drinking. It's most noticeable trait is the tread marks left on the bottom of the toilet.

The Gee, I Wish I Could Shit, Shit - The kind where you want to SHIT, but all you do is sit on the toilet cramped and fart a few times.

The Spinal Tap/Large Anal Shit - The kind where it hurts so much coming out, you swear it was leaving sideways.

The Wet Cheeks/The Power Dump - The kind that comes out of your ass so fast, that your butt cheeks get splashed with the toilet water.

The Quid Shit - The kind where yellowish-brown liquid shoots out of your butt, splatters all over the inside of The toilet bowl, and the whole time chronically burning your tender anus.

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