Here's Some One-Liner Michael Jackson Jokes: Part 3

on 04.20.2004

Michael Jackson and Pee Wee Herman are releasing a new music video. It's titled "I'll Beat It For You."

Did Jacko commit the attack-o?
Is he guilty of an illegal fudge pack-o?
Cut the man some slack-o.
It's evidence we lack-o.
Maybe he just squirted lotion on the kid's back-o.

Q: What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?
A: "Got two fives for a ten?"

Q: What is Michael Jackson's alma mater?
A: Bring-em Young.

Q: Did you hear about the duet by Michael Jackson and Elton John?
A: It's called "Don't Let Your Son Go Down On Me."

Q: Why does Michael Jackson hide for a couple hours after one of his little friends leave?
A: It takes that long to get the bubble gum off his dick.

Q: What's the difference between Mr. Potato Head and Michael Jackson?
A: Michael Jackson has had more noses.

Q: Why did Michael invite MacCauly Caulkin to the house?
A: He's like the little boy he never had.

Q: Why did Michael really to go to rehab?
A: He's a crack addict.

Q: Did you know that Michael Jackson is 45?
A: Yeah, but he still feels like a 13 year old.

Q: How did Michael get in trouble?
A: He was feeling a little Randy.

Q: How is Michael dealing with his problems?
A: He's holding his own.

Q: How did Michael actually proposition the little boy?
A: It was just a slip of the tongue.

Q: What's sex like for Michael?
A: Child's play.

Q: How is Michael now?
A: Feeling a little crotchety.

Q: Hear about the new Michael Jackson doll?
A: It comes in a little can.

Q: Why does Michael like children so much?
A: He knows how they feel.

Q: What makes Michael Jackson so unique?
A: It's the little boy inside him.

Q: What's Michael's favorite snack?
A: Slim Jims.

Q: What's Michael's favorite fast food?
A: Big Boys.

Q: Why is Michael so tough?
A: He can lick any kid on the block.

Q: What's the new movie about Michael Jackson called?
A: "The Hand that Robs the Cradle."

Q: How will Michael pay off his old boyfriends?
A: Liquefy some assets.

Q: What's the difference between Richard Nixon and Michael Jackson?
A: One was a consummate asshole, the other consummated an asshole.

Q: What did Michael Jackson say after he was interrupted during sex?
A: "Shit happens!"

Q: What's the difference between a jockey and Michael Jackson?
A: A jockey can mount a three year old without getting arrested.

Q: What are Michael Jackson's favorite sayings?
A: There's a sucker born every minute.
Kids do the darndest things.
Tricks are for kids.

Q: What's Michaels' next movie?
A: Honey I Blew the Kid.

Q: What's Michaels' favorite group?
A: New Kids on the Cock.

Q: What do Michael and Gaylord Perry have in common?
A: Both have held lots of wet balls in their hands.

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