New Definitions For Sexual Positions
The IRS position:
Where you just bend over and
take it up the ass with no lube.
Otherwise known as performing
(Requires a cigar and an intern).
The Butt Rut:
(self explanatory but obligatory
reference to ass screwing).
The Monday Night Football Colotial:
(Actually just doggie style done facing
the TV with the gameon with her in the football jersey of your favorite
The Kentucky Derby:
(aka Woman astride ) be forewarned if you decide to use
the western variant of this (The Rodeo) her spurs WILL wreakhavoc on the bed
The "Osama Bin Dover":
The Bin Laden:
Shoot your load, then run, duck, and hide.
The guy must Dive...Dive... Dive.
The Bugs Bunny:
It's when the guy is on top with the women's legs
pinnedbehind her head.
The British telecom position:
You get FUCKED by them
and they never call you back.
The Grenade Position:
I'll lie down and you blow
the hell out of me.
The Enron Position:
No matter what, you're getting it up the ass.
The position you in when your spouse
comes in early fromwork and catches you in a position you
can't get out of...
Double entry (cumagain).
And the #1 New Name for a Sexual Position:
The ever-famous "No, you gotta
get your leg up higher...no, not like that, like this... NO it's got to be
HIGHER than that. No, like this...oh, yeah that'd work...if you were the one
with the vagina ...NO, would you listen to me? HIGHER! DO YOU UNDERSTAND THE
WORDS THAT ARE COMING OUT OFMY MOUTH? You know what? Never mind...I don't
even wanna do it anymore. No, I won't give you head. No, we can't try again
...Yeah, that's right. I am gonna use my vibrator... Well, I wouldn't have
to if you could get your leg up! GOD!"