Thanks For All The Chain Letters You Sent Me In The Past.

on 05.06.2004

* I stopped drinking Coca Cola after I found out that it's good for removing toilet stains.

* I stopped going to the movies for fear of sitting on a needle infected with AIDS.

* I smell like a dog since I stopped using all deodorants because they cause cancer.

* I don't leave my car in the parking lot or any other place and sometimes I even have to walk about 7 blocks for fear that someone will drug me with a perfume sample and try to rob me.

* I also stopped answering the phone for fear that they ask me to dial a stupid number and then I get a phone bill from hell with calls to Uganda, Singapore and Tokyo.

* I stopped consuming several foods for fear that the estrogen's they contain may turn me gay.

* I also stopped eating chicken and hamburgers because they are nothing other than horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers that are bred in a lab so that places like McDonalds can sell their Big Macs.

* I also stopped drinking anything out of a can for fear that I will get sick from the rat feces and urine.

* I think I'm turning gay now because when I go to parties, I don't look at any girl no matter how hot or cute she is, for fear that she will take my kidneys and leave me taking a nap in a bathtub full of ice.

* I also donated all of my savings to the Amy Bruce account. A sick little girl that was about to die in the hospital about 7,000 times. Funny that girl, she's been 7 since 1993...

* I went bankrupt from bounced checks that I made expecting the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL were supposed to send me when I participated in their special e-mail program.

* My Ericcson phone never arrived and neither did the passes for a paid vacation to Disneyland.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
YOUR NAME: (required)

EMAIL: (required)

THEIR EMAIL: (required)
<< Previous Back^Next >> 

Comments From the Peanut Gallery