The Top 15 Courses At Superhero College

on 05.19.2004

15> CULINARY ARTS 107: Garlic Breath -- the Hidden Super Power

14> ETHICS 260: Comparative Philosophies on Acting as an Agent of Justice in a Rapidly Evolving World of Increasing Complexity and Moral Ambiguity (Prerequisite: Intermediate Ass-Whupping)

13> PHYSICAL EDUCATION 203: Controlling Atomic Flatulence

12> ETHICS 221: Using Your Powers to Benefit a Stupid, Ungrateful Public Rather Than Robbing Banks, Extorting Governments, and Flying Unsuspecting Supermodels to Your Fortress of Solitude

11> SOCIOLOGY 403: Why Johnny Can't Fly -- The problems of super offspring in 21st Century Society

10> PSYCHOLOGY 401: Why You'll Never Be As Popular As Superman

9> SECRET IDENTITIES 107: Throw Away Those Glasses! *Really* Concealing Your Identity With Colored Contacts and Mousse

8> HISTORY 302: A Historical Overview of Victorian-Era Salon Poets and How You Could Crush Any of Those Absinthe-Drinking Pansies With Just One Twitch of Your Immensely Powerful Nostrils

7> SEXUALITY 303: Knowing When "Faster Than A Speeding Bullet" Isn't a Good Thing

6> WEAPONRY 332: Duck! -- Lethal Characteristics of the Thrown, Unloaded Handgun

5> FRESHMAN ORIENTATION FOR MEN: The Real Reason You're Here -- X-Ray Vision and Female Superheroes' Gravity-Defying Breasts

4> CULINARY ARTS 309: Cooking with a Codpiece

3> SUPER POWERS 312: Invisibility (attendance mandatory, roll *will* be called)

2> HISTORY 103A: Rectally-incontinent Brown Lantern and other short-lived superheroes of the 1950's

and Topfive.com's Number 1 Course at Superhero College...

1> SECRET IDENTITIES 217: Keeping your Secret Identity a Secret -- Taught by Winslow Anderson, a.k.a. Captain Stupend-- ...Aw, CRAP!

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posted on: 09-28-09 @ 11:22 PM