85 Billion Dollar Humor

on 10.02.2008

I’m against the $85,000,000,000.00 bailout of AIG.

Instead, I’m in favor of giving $85,000,000,000 to America in a We Deserve It Dividend.

To make the math simple, let’s assume there are 200,000,000 bonafide U.S. Citizens 18+.

Our population is about 301,000,000 +/- counting every man, woman and child. So 200,000,000 might be a fair stab at adults 18 and up..

So divide 200 million adults 18+ into $85 billon that equals $425,000.00.

My plan is to give $425,0 00 to every person 18+ as a We Deserve It Dividend.

Of course, it would NOT be tax free. So let’s assume a tax rate of 30%.

Every individual 18+ has to pay $127,500.00 in taxes. That sends $25,500,000,000 right back to Uncle Sam.

But it means that every adult 18+ has $297,500.00 in their pocket. A husband and wife has $595,000.00.

What would you do with $297,500.00 to $595,000.00 in your family? Pay off your mortgage – housing crisis solved. Repay college loans – what a great boost to new grads Put away money for college – it’ll be there Save in a bank – create money to loan to entrepreneurs. Buy a new car – create jobs Invest in the market – capital drives growth Pay for your parent’s medical insurance – health care improves Enable Deadbeat Dads to come clean – or else

Remember this is for every adult U S Citizen 18+ including the folks who lost their jobs at Lehman Brothers and every other company that is cutting back. And of course, for those serving in our Armed Forces.

If we’re going to re-distribute wealth let’s really do it...instead of trickling out a puny $1000.00 ( “vote buy” ) economic incentive that is being proposed by one of our candidates for President.

If we’re going to do an $85 billion bailout, let’s bail out every adult U S Citizen 18+!

As for AIG – liquidate it. Sell off its parts. Let American General go back to being American General. Sell off the real estate. Let the private sector bargain hunters cut it up and clean it up.

Here’s my rationale. We deserve it and AIG doesn’t.

Sure it’s a crazy idea that can “never work.”

But can you imagine the Coast-To-Coast Block Party!

How do you spell Economic Boom?

I trust my fellow adult Americans to know how to use the $85 Billion We Deserve It Dividend more than I do the geniuses at AIG or in Washington DC .

And remember, The Family plan only really costs $59.5 Billion because $25.5 Billion is returned instantly in taxes to Uncle Sam.

Ahhh...I feel so much better getting that off my chest.

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Comments From the Peanut Gallery
go on a math course dipshit
posted on: 10-04-08 @ 8:41 PM

soooooooo DUMB
posted on: 10-24-08 @ 8:13 PM

what a fucking tool. Take those three extra zeroes off of your "Dividend" and have them tattooed on your forehead asswipe!
posted on: 11-14-08 @ 7:54 AM

for real dude that sounds like a great plan!!!
posted on: 11-15-08 @ 3:55 PM

who ever thought that up needs to be shot sure as shit. The math comes to 425.00 for each person. so we are still fucked.
posted on: 12-14-08 @ 3:56 AM

Yo, 85000000000/200000000=425 you fucking MORON!!!
posted on: 12-15-08 @ 3:07 PM

And, I bet it is this stunning intellect which was used to formulate your rationale to vote for Obama.
posted on: 12-15-08 @ 3:24 PM

posted on: 12-25-08 @ 12:16 AM

People like you are the reason this Country is fucked up. Quit school in the fifth grade and then bitch about how fucked up the government is and how you can do it so much better. Except you only have a fifth grade education and really can not do shit but run your mouth!
posted on: 12-29-08 @ 3:22 PM

use a calculator dumbass then add up all the bailout/stimulus money divid by 200000000 then promptly go in backyard and shoot yourself
posted on: 01-30-09 @ 8:47 AM

The original "Bailout" plan was for upwards of $85 billion...err whatever!!! But $425 in every adults pocket sounds alot better than the big black dick we all took up the ass anyhow, huh?? What did you get in the bailout....nothing except a big "fuck-you"!!! "America: By the People; For the People; FUCK THE PEOPLE!!!!" Theres no way we can take this country back...we are ROYALLY FUCKED!!!
posted on: 09-06-09 @ 6:07 AM

Though the math was off, I see your point. But with money comes great responsibility, and too many people would become "spend crazy" and unnecessary spending on luxuries would run ramped amongst the masses which does nothing to really truly help our economic collapse. A "Bandage Fix" so to speak. For instance, I would buy a pound of Chronic, as many Roxycodone as I could get my hands on, fill my garage with cases of beer and party till my liver exploded. There are more of me out there than you could ever know. So I say FAIL!!!!
posted on: 09-27-09 @ 7:28 AM

Works for me now send me some money
posted on: 11-25-09 @ 8:34 PM

The numbers are all fucked, but the theory is right. Corporate thinking and common sense is like night and day.
posted on: 07-21-10 @ 8:38 PM

Wow! is America as bad as you people make sound? I don't understand your politics and this Obama stuff. Some like him,some hate him. I remember Bush Jr wasn't well liked either. Has their ever been a president that the people of America Loved?
posted on: 08-29-16 @ 11:13 PM