I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the
morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.
- Frank Sinatra
I drink so I can talk to assholes. This includes me.
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day.
Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.
- Some guy's wife
The problem with some people is that when they aren't drunk, they're
- William Butler Yeats
Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach
you to keep your mouth shut.
- Ernest Hemingway
Reality is an illusion that occurs due to lack of alcohol.
A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency
to thank her.
- W.C. Fields
What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch?
- Tee Mans
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life, so get
wasted all of the time and have the time of your life.
- Michelle Mastrolacasa
I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal
- Tom Waits
24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?
- Stephen Wright
When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When
we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go
to heaven. Sooooo, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!
- Brian O'Rourke
You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an
airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some
nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.
- Frank Zappa
Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has
taken out of me.
- Winston Churchill
Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
- Benjamin Franklin
Without question, the greatest invention in the history of
mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine
invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.
- Dave Barry
The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks
- Humphrey Bogart
Why is American beer served cold? So you can distinguish it
- David Moulton
Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world.
- Kaiser Wilhelm
Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen
and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital
ingredient in beer.
- Dave Barry
All right, brain, I don't like you and you don't like me - so
let's just do this and I'll get back to killing you with beer.
- Homer Simpson
You know you're drunk when you fall off the floor.
And God said, "Let there be vodka!" And He saw that it was
good. Then God said, "Let there be light!" And then He said, "Whoa - too
- umm.....this is from the bible or something.
You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding
- Dean Martin
Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 1862!
- Sign in a bar
To some its a six-pack, to me it's a support Group.
-A Beer Coolie
He was a wise man who invented beer.
- Plato (maybe)
An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.
- Ernest Hemingway
No animal ever invented anything as bad as drunkenness ... or as good as drink.
- G.K. Chesterton
Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.
- Ambrose Bierce
If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs.
- David Daye
Work is the curse of the drinking classes.
- Oscar Wilde
I drink to make other people interesting.
- George Jean Nathan
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