A Collection Of Some Great Alcohol Related Quotes

on 12.07.2000

I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.
- Frank Sinatra

I drink so I can talk to assholes. This includes me.
-Jim Morrison

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.
- Some guy's wife

The problem with some people is that when they aren't drunk, they're sober.
- William Butler Yeats

Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
- Ernest Hemingway

Reality is an illusion that occurs due to lack of alcohol.
- Anonymous

A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.
- W.C. Fields

What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch?
- Tee Mans

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
-Henny Youngman

Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life, so get wasted all of the time and have the time of your life.
- Michelle Mastrolacasa

I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy.
- Tom Waits

24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?
- Stephen Wright

When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. Sooooo, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!
- Brian O'Rourke

You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.
- Frank Zappa

Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.
- Winston Churchill

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
- Benjamin Franklin

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.
- Dave Barry

The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.
- Humphrey Bogart

Why is American beer served cold? So you can distinguish it from urine.
- David Moulton

Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world.
- Kaiser Wilhelm

Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.
- Dave Barry

All right, brain, I don't like you and you don't like me - so let's just do this and I'll get back to killing you with beer.
- Homer Simpson

You know you're drunk when you fall off the floor.
- unknown

And God said, "Let there be vodka!" And He saw that it was good. Then God said, "Let there be light!" And then He said, "Whoa - too much light."
- umm.....this is from the bible or something.

You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
- Dean Martin

Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 1862!
- Sign in a bar

To some its a six-pack, to me it's a support Group.
-A Beer Coolie

He was a wise man who invented beer.
- Plato (maybe)

An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.
- Ernest Hemingway

No animal ever invented anything as bad as drunkenness ... or as good as drink.
- G.K. Chesterton

Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.
- Ambrose Bierce

If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs.
- David Daye

Work is the curse of the drinking classes.
- Oscar Wilde

I drink to make other people interesting.
- George Jean Nathan

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Comments From the Peanut Gallery
"Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 1862! - Sign in a bar" is wrong Look at Plato's words, he lived about 428 B.C.
posted on: 03-18-09 @ 12:32 PM