Here's Some One-Liner Michael Jackson Jokes: Part 1

on 04.14.2004

Q: What do Michael Jackson and a Big Mac have in common?
A: They're both 45 year old pieces of meat between two 10 year old buns.

Q: Why did Michael Jackson place a phone call to Boyz2Men?
A: He thought it was a delivery service.

Q: How do you neuter Michael Jackson?
A: Give him spiked gloves and tell him to sing a song.

Q: Why did Michael Jackson have a baby with his latest wife?
A: He wanted a child of his own to rear.

Q: How do you know when it's bedtime at the Jackson residence?
A: When the big hand touches the little hand.

Q: What is Michael Jackson's favorite gospel song?
A: "And Then He Touched Me."

Q: Have you heard about Michael Jackson's new book?
A: It's called "The In's and Out's of Child Rearing."

Q: What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?
A: One is white, made out of plastic, and dangerous for kids to play with and the other you carry your groceries in.

Q: Why was Michael Jackson spotted at K-Mart?
A: He heard boy's pants were half off.

Q: What's brown and in a baby's diaper?
A: Michael Jackson's hand.

Q: What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?
A: "Get out of my son!"

Q: What's white and in Michael Jackson's pocket?
A: His other hand.

Q: What do you do if Michael Jackson is drowning?
A: Throw him a boy.

Q: How can you tell if Michael Jackson has company?
A: There's a big wheel parked outside his house.

Q: How do you know Michael Jackson is having a party?
A: There are a bunch of tricycles in front of his house.

Q: Heard about Michael Jackson's new song?
A: "I'm Forever Blowing Bubbles."

Q: Did you hear that Michael Jackson and Tonya Harding have decided to begin training racehorses together?
A: Yeah, she's gonna do all the handicapping and he's gonna ride all the three-year-olds.

Q: Why isn't all the controversy bothering Michael?
A: He doesn't mind reaching bottom.

Q: Who does Michael Jackson consider a perfect 10?
A: Two 5 year olds.

Q: Why are Michael Jackson's pants so small?
A: Because they aren't his.

Q: Did you hear about Michael Jackson's toaster?
A: The bread goes in brown, and comes out white.

Q: What does Michael Jackson call a circumcision?
A: Foreplay.

Q: How does Michael Jackson pick his nose?
A: From a catalog.

Q: What does Michael Jackson reminisce about when he gets nostalgic?
A: Blowing his first nose.

Q: Why did Michael change his nose and his face so much?
A: To help his movie career.

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