So Close To Shitty Pants

on 09.22.2011

Today is about as close as I ever want to be to shitty pants. We had lunch early, and on the right back, and I had a fart a brewing. Well this was a good fart gone bad. Almost disastrous if you will. As soon as I felt the poop nearing the edge of my butthole, I had to clench up and hold it. I had about 2 miles to the bathroom, and all I needed to do was hit the one intersection and I was home free. Of course red light. Now there is no talking in the car, only me holding in some explosive doo doo. Finally making it home, and inspecting my pants, no poop ever touched cloth. So close! --Jay

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Comments From the Peanut Gallery
So close... to being a Japanese fetish hero. For the record, when you finally cut some turds did you wipe your ass, your legs and the back of your sack?
posted on: 09-22-11 @ 2:42 PM

We had lunch early, and on the right back, and I a fart a brewing................HUH, just how many beers did you have with lunch?
posted on: 09-22-11 @ 3:18 PM

SOunds like those rectum muscles are really gettin strong from all the workout.
posted on: 09-22-11 @ 4:47 PM

Like my dad always told me.... Never trust a fart and never waste a hard on....
posted on: 09-22-11 @ 9:13 PM

Hope your lunch was good cuz it sounds like you had a shitty ride home...
posted on: 09-23-11 @ 3:12 PM