Bringing Your Poo Home

on 02.15.2012

You all know how it goes. You're driving home and you feel a deuce brewing. You know it's best to get home sooner than later, but there's no immediate danger. Not yet. Then you get on your block and the urge kicks up a notch or two. Now you're pulling in your driveway and all you can think about is getting to the toilet. You get out of the car and start running to the door, pinching your cheeks a little tighter with each step. You struggle to find the right key and slide it in the lock, while bouncing on your toes trying not to soil your clean undies. You fling the front door open and bolt to the bathroom, undoing your pants as you run. Finally you reach the porcelain and before your cheeks touch the seat, you're splattering poo gravy all over the bowl. Oh sweet relief! Just how does your butthole know when it's almost home? It's one of life's greatest mysteries. --Adam

Adam H., adamh@crazyshit.com
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Comments From the Peanut Gallery
why does your dick get hard when you see a hottie? why does the possie rear on a plymouth work? it just does.
posted on: 02-15-12 @ 2:47 PM

one of the biggest mysteries known to humans
posted on: 02-15-12 @ 4:00 PM

I really wonder about you guts. But I guess someone has to bring up some of the more odd facts of life. Perhaps you need a hobby?
posted on: 02-15-12 @ 6:33 PM

somethin to think about.
posted on: 02-15-12 @ 6:35 PM

I should have checked the spelling on that. Meant you guys.
posted on: 02-15-12 @ 6:35 PM

you left out the part where ya stand in the driveway clinching as tight as you can for 3-4 minutes, so you dont shit yourself,and all the nieghbors wondering why your standing there all stiff legged and sqinty eye’d. yup been there adam, the clinching gives ya an extra 20 feet of walking time.
posted on: 02-15-12 @ 6:36 PM

I just had this same conversation a week ago. Its like your butthole knows it’s throne is near.
posted on: 02-15-12 @ 7:42 PM

As you get older ya don’t make it.
posted on: 02-15-12 @ 9:04 PM

When this happens it seems like every possible fucking thing that could get in your way does. But when you don't need to shit yourself its smooth sailing to anywhere you need to go. God sure does have a fucked up sense of humor sometimes.
posted on: 02-15-12 @ 10:14 PM