One Hot Asshole

on 10.02.2012

I have no idea why I do it, but I love me some spicy food. The hotter the better. I want to be sweating from pure heat while I eat. That being said, last night I got into some crazy good habanero like salsa. Shit was awesome, but today it's not so great. My first dookie was like a massive log being pushed through a garden hose. Then the second poop is where it got real. That was the hot poop. I had to hold on for dear life as I passed the fire crap out of my asshole. Now that I am on shit number 4, it's all just kinda foamy and less hot. I hope I learned a lesson today. Probably not though. --Jay

Jay D., jay@crazyshit.com
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Comments From the Peanut Gallery
If you ain’t using Dave’s Insanity,Total Insanity or Ultimate Insanity, you’re using junk. Slightly warm and great flavor. And, if your garage floor needs cleaning, or floor wax needs stripping, these will do the job, too. Also great for those times your asshole needs to be sterilized. If you can’t find them locally, order them. Cheap to buy but far from "cheap". Otherwise, get some Scorned Woman or Hell’s Fury. Any of the above will show you what kind of mess high pressure asspiss will produce.
posted on: 10-02-12 @ 2:26 PM

Try the ghost chilli vodka that came out recently
posted on: 10-02-12 @ 2:36 PM

I love spicy food, I like "100% Pain" for a hot sauce-I have tried Scorned Woman, & Hell’s Fury, and my 7 year old can eat them.. Luckily, I don’t/can’t relate to your fucked up fecal story tho, Jay.. WAY TMI!
posted on: 10-02-12 @ 2:39 PM

@justsomegirl - all the fucked up shit on this website, and Jay’s easygoing tale of turd turbulence is what trips your TMI meter?
posted on: 10-02-12 @ 4:21 PM

Jay shit out a jalapeņo.
posted on: 10-02-12 @ 4:39 PM

I can eat Wasabi by the spoonful. Even the slopeheads @ the Chinese restaurants look at me in astonishment.
posted on: 10-02-12 @ 5:56 PM

i have ate things that will make a billy goat puke(not yours 2indastink) and i can handle shit so hot it will literally take the paint off a barstole. but daves ultimate insanity is by far the hottest fucking thing i have ever tasted in my life!! when i bought it i had to sign a waiver at the store because the stuff is that fucking volitall!! i had 1 drop on a cracker and damn near needed to go to the fucking ER. it gets its heat from a substance known as capsin. google that shit!! its the hottest natural know substance know to man. and it makes the ghost chili taste like a fucking all day sucker. seriously google it capsin. and domnt think for a second that because it comes from a chili pepper its not that hot. capsin is refined to its purest form then used to make dave’s ultimate insanity. i promise your asshole will go on strike for a year if you eat it
posted on: 10-02-12 @ 5:57 PM

Jalapenos are good for you..not so much for your asshole.
posted on: 10-02-12 @ 6:33 PM

Ring of fire?
posted on: 10-02-12 @ 8:02 PM

i love hot food, not the fucking burn your mouth till you cant see shit, but the nice, i can eat this and i like it kinda food, me and a few guys from work once ordered a plate of god knows what, from a curry house . . we were all shit faced, all i remember is my asshole being like a nasa test launch engine the day after. .
posted on: 10-02-12 @ 8:39 PM

I’m glad I read the entire post and understood the context. "One hot asshole."! I thought you meant heat caused by friction when you and Adam "eieie wakawaka boombagged" each other!
posted on: 10-03-12 @ 4:13 AM

@urapnes1701d It’s not real
posted on: 10-03-12 @ 10:58 AM