on 04.14.2013

So, me and some of my co-workers where talking this morning and got to wondering about fat people. I told them about my experience the other night at a local convenience store. There was this giant sack-of-shit getting some beer. Let's build the scene.... It's about 2130, 9:30pm for you retards, as I walk into the store. There's this woman, or woman-like thing, at the counter buying beer, she's a fat turd! She's built like a boulder on toothpicks. She's wearing short tan shorts and a yellow tank-top. I give one of the Indians, dot not tomahawk, a look of "what the fuck?" He agrees. I walk around this lumbering oaf to get some iced tea, trying to plan a way to get a picture of this tub-of-lard for you guys. However, I refrain, I'm just thirsty, I'm not trying to fend off 350lbs of chewed up bubble-gum in daisy-dukes. Her shorts would've probably fit me, I wear a 34-36 inch waist. But, she had a whole other me that hung over the waist-band and over her filthy box. The best part of this whole situation....she was buying light-beer. What the fuck? Are you serious? This bitch looked like she ate sticks of deep-fried butter washed down with vegetable oil and she's getting light-beer? Who the fuck is she lying to? However, back to the original thought. Has anyone ever had or witnessed a deep-fried stick of butter? Breaded of course. Or has anyone ever witnessed some tub-of-shit eating a bar of butter? Is so, get us some proof, cause I really want to see that shit! Till next weekend, fuck you! --Henry M.

Henry M., henrym@crazyshit.com
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Comments From the Peanut Gallery
she can go on a diet, but you’ll always be an arsehole
posted on: 04-14-13 @ 2:56 PM

all of that until henry realized it was just his girlfriend. LOL
posted on: 04-14-13 @ 3:00 PM

where are the videos today ???? you useless bag of cunt.
posted on: 04-14-13 @ 3:01 PM

posted on: 04-14-13 @ 3:05 PM

they were selling deep fried butter on a fucking stick at the iowa state fair last year! the breading was supposed to be like KFC breading. who the fuck wants to die that fucking bad!1 my fucking arterys were slamming shut just from the smell of that shit.
posted on: 04-14-13 @ 3:49 PM

You guys see all this shit ? You all have cellphones with cameras, and yet no footage ???? I call bullshit, we now know you all live in mommy`s basement and never come out to the real world.
posted on: 04-14-13 @ 3:51 PM

^^^^ Just a reminder, these dudes live in Florida where I'm from. Therefore no basements, just saying.
posted on: 04-14-13 @ 4:45 PM

Henry, I have witnessed both. I’ve had deep fried butter at the fair. It was delicous. MMMMM. I also witnessed my friend eat two entire sticks of butter right after we graduated. He had to make a certain weight before he could be shipped off to navy boot camp. He didn’t want to go yet, because there was a concert we all wanted to go to. So, he ate two sticks of butter and washed it down with a two liter of coke. It was fucking nasty!!!!!!!
posted on: 04-14-13 @ 5:05 PM

Dont make fun of my mom henry, its glandular you know.
posted on: 04-14-13 @ 6:59 PM

it’s like my cousin archie (Lol his name really is archie.HAHA). we go to vegas, walk around the strip, ask a couple hookers the going rate for a good blumpkin, and then we make our way to the fried twinkie stand, he orders 3 because he’s a big tub-o-lard (but lovable), then we go to the liquore store to wash down his fried twinkies and my funnel cake, and guess what the lardo wants? a goddamn bud light, for christ’s sake. fucking lardos...
posted on: 04-14-13 @ 7:57 PM

My roomie weighs every bit of 400+! She is a brick shithouse! She's has to ride in a scooter (electric wheelchair for u yards) cuz she's so fat! N she wonders why she doesn't feel good all the time! Lose bout 250 but she would still have the loose skin! UGH! Id post a pic but her husband comes on here every once in a while! Yuck! Keep my door closed n a towel under the door! To keep the fat stink outta my room! Bitch dont need to take a shower she's so fat she sweats the dirt off! LOL!
posted on: 04-14-13 @ 10:22 PM

The level of detail you went into to describe her only means one thing Henry; you enjoyed what you saw. Afterwards I bet you went home and masturbated about her riding on top of you with her fat flowing over you like excess pizza dough in a mixing bowl. Perhaps you wanted to give her a Calzone filling?
posted on: 04-15-13 @ 12:52 AM

I ate a stick of deep fried butter at the fair. It was kinda good, but really really rich. I ended up sharing it with my man and my kid...and felt like shit after eating it. But, fuck man...it’s just something I HAD to try! On a related note, I was waiting on a family yesterday with a super fat little girl. She asked me for two sides of ranch...and I shit you not, she drank them like shots! GROSS!
posted on: 04-15-13 @ 8:58 AM

Shoenice on YouTube eats a stick of butter....he also chugs a bottle of everclear....just search shoenice....
posted on: 04-15-13 @ 11:32 AM