Timing Of An Asshole

on 05.01.2013

How is it that your asshole knows when you're close to home? I know you know what I'm talking about. You're driving home and feel a shit coming on, but you don't have to go that bad. Then you turn onto your street and start getting a little antsy. By the time you park your car, you're clenching your ass cheeks and taking deep breaths. You power walk as fast as you can to the front door without loosening up your sphincter so you don't soil your undies. As soon as you swing the door open, you're already dropping your pants and sprinting to the shitter. You go to sit down and before your ass hits the seat, you're filling the bowl with your homemade mud pie. Whew, made it again without shitting yourself, but it was a close one. --Adam

Adam H., adamh@crazyshit.com
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Comments From the Peanut Gallery
Adam, the Turd Meister
posted on: 05-01-13 @ 12:24 PM

adam lets talk serious for a second. when i was 30ish like you all i ever talked or worried about was money pussy and my job. i didnt start talking about when where what and how i shit until i hit about 45. dude i am sorry but you talk about your shit way to much for your age. its a miracle your getting laid as much as you talk about your shit dude.
posted on: 05-01-13 @ 12:32 PM

Have to admit, i once rushed home after a huge drinking session with my bowels flapping horribly, and couldn`t quite make it so i shit on my neighbour`s step who i hated.
posted on: 05-01-13 @ 12:33 PM

ron adams a fag. hes worried about his shit cause his anus is all fucked up from all the massive black throbbing cock beatings hes gotten over the years.
posted on: 05-01-13 @ 12:56 PM

@ron with all that shit about he must be getting laid with an asian hahahaha
posted on: 05-01-13 @ 1:15 PM

tell me about it Adam and it ain’t just going home, get out of the truck to unload and before you can get the cutains open your ringer is twitchin and your beggin somebody to tell you were the shitter is
posted on: 05-01-13 @ 1:41 PM

then our assholes are smarter than android
posted on: 05-01-13 @ 1:43 PM

^^^ is that a toilet paper :-)
posted on: 05-01-13 @ 1:47 PM

Too many hot loads up the shit chute...
posted on: 05-01-13 @ 3:55 PM

I can usually tell when I’m fixing to unload a big honkie. I hate it when I have to wipe my 365 so much though.
posted on: 05-01-13 @ 4:53 PM

Dude, I fly into the toilet like a B52 and drop a fat boy. Straight nuking my toilet. I’m surprised it hasn’t cracked yet.
posted on: 05-01-13 @ 9:37 PM

When I set a slave free it’s like what a rush,a job well done to humanity type of feeling.
posted on: 05-02-13 @ 12:36 AM