No More Cottage Cheese

on 05.06.2014

I was listening to Louis CK while doing updates today, and he told a story about having his dog lick cottage cheese off his dick when he was a kid, and fucking melons and shit like that. Did you ever fuck inanimate objects or have animals lick your dick or vagina? Or has fucking your hand always been good enough for you? It's time to spill the beans, fuckers. --Adam

Adam H., adamh@crazyshit.com
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Comments From the Peanut Gallery
I once had a doll of the baby from the show "dinosaurs!" I cut a hole in its crotch and fucked it. After i came, I was disgusted with myself and gave it to my little sister. She slept with it for years.
posted on: 05-06-14 @ 5:03 PM

fucked a buffalo once, been wondering for months now if happyjack is my son.
posted on: 05-06-14 @ 5:18 PM

i fucked the SHIT outta the crease between 2 cushions of the couch.....
posted on: 05-06-14 @ 5:26 PM

I had sex with my wife
posted on: 05-06-14 @ 5:46 PM

I used to have this bitch a while back. She was a Mutt; a little of this and a little of that. I always kept it a secret that when we were alone I’d stroke her thick blonde hair down her back, come up behind her and bang the shit out of her. I kept the leash on her the whole time so she wouldn’t get away. She had a tendency to kick backwards and scratch me with those long ass toe nails of hers. It was a blast! She’d be pantin and drooling the whole time.. But then we got divorced and now shes trying to get me for child support even though shes uber wealthy.
posted on: 05-06-14 @ 5:53 PM

I learned the difference between my weapon and my gun at an early age. My hand is a fickle bitch, but she has always come through when I needed her.
posted on: 05-06-14 @ 7:05 PM

any port in a storm, except another guy
posted on: 05-06-14 @ 7:30 PM

My sister’s Barbies were a little bow legged. It was entrapment I tell you. They left them naked in the bottom of the tub. What’s a 13yo boy to do?
posted on: 05-06-14 @ 9:24 PM

Louis C.K. is not funny at all. Funny looking... Yes... Funny.... No!
posted on: 05-06-14 @ 9:36 PM

@rockinron though you probably look old enough to be my dad I'm pretty sure you've never reproduced. Which isn't a bad thing.
posted on: 05-07-14 @ 1:42 AM

speaking of cottage cheese, wendi has a cottage cheese butt
posted on: 05-07-14 @ 3:43 AM

nah, i never fucked no inanimate objects or engaged in any beastiality, but you know what’s funny? me and my homeboy used to jerk off together watching porn. that’s on a stack of bibles.Lol it seems weird when i think back about it now, but back then, it was nothing. we’d pop in a porn and just start jacking it.Lol i can’t even recall how it all started, i guess we both just said ’fuck-it’ simultaneously, and commenced beating our meat. that was 7th and 8th grade. he in chicago now. next time i talk to him, i’m a bring it up, so we can laugh. we was some weird niggas...Lol
posted on: 05-07-14 @ 6:15 AM

How many times have you seen a dick with shit on it, yet you still keep sucking them. So I am thinking you are still gonna eat cottage cheese.
posted on: 05-07-14 @ 12:02 PM