Dairy Does It

on 08.14.2014

Something that I regret every time I do it, but will continue to do, is devouring a bunch of dairy before I go to bed. I just wake up with my stomach in a knot and immediately blow out a dense mushy bomb that sinks straight to the bottom of the toilet bowl. Ice cream is the worst, but I haven't been eating any lately. Killing a box of bedtime cereal was fucking me up a couple weeks ago, but I've kicked that habit too. Last night it was yogurt. I just kept coming back to the fridge for more. With so many delicious flavors, I had to try them all. It's a good thing I'm all stocked up on toilet paper. --Adam

Adam H., adamh@crazyshit.com
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Comments From the Peanut Gallery
Doesn't dairy make most people constipated!? Seems like you'd save toilet paper!
posted on: 08-14-14 @ 3:05 PM

Yeah yeah yeah, blame it on your lactose intolerance. We all know your o-ring is blown out, Adam.
posted on: 08-14-14 @ 3:37 PM

Self controls a real Bitch isn’t?
posted on: 08-14-14 @ 5:18 PM

Adam Just look at the extra-cheesy-back-cyst you posted today and that should stop you eating those Creamy items
posted on: 08-14-14 @ 6:36 PM

@ ludenlasivius he basically admitted his ass is full of cream & yogurt.
posted on: 08-14-14 @ 6:56 PM

It’s a good thing I’m all stocked up on toilet paper. --Adam Bullshit. It’s a good thing you’re single!
posted on: 08-14-14 @ 7:31 PM

It’s those sperm enemas you take just before lunch that’s fucking your system up.
posted on: 08-14-14 @ 8:27 PM

just throw a hse up your ass in the morning and fire that fuck up on full blast! clean as a whistle in 5 minutes.
posted on: 08-14-14 @ 10:37 PM

Well SHIT Adam.
posted on: 08-15-14 @ 2:25 AM

Gluten fucks me up and I still don’t care. A night of pizza and beer will have me scratching my skin off in bed. Makes date night complicated.
posted on: 08-15-14 @ 8:43 AM