Wasteful Wiping

on 12.18.2014

Why is it that chicks use so much fucking toilet paper? Even if I take a greasy cheeseburger shit or squeeze out the soft serve, and I only have 5 squares, I'll make it work. I wipe, fold, wipe, fold and wipe until I need to reload. But I swear every chick wraps half a god damn roll around her hand, and then dabs 3 drops of piss off her pussy lips. What the fuck is up with that, ladies? --Adam

Adam H., adamh@crazyshit.com
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
YOUR NAME: (required)

EMAIL: (required)

THEIR EMAIL: (required)

Comments From the Peanut Gallery
If you're only using 5 sheets for a smudgey sewer snake , then I wouldn't want to be near your anus on a warm day...
posted on: 12-18-14 @ 3:38 PM

I use adams tongue.
posted on: 12-18-14 @ 3:46 PM

but really no shit ladies. a hard shit one wipe should be good enough. on average I do about 2 good wipes with 4 or 5 squares. with the shits I’ll use as much as it takes, but if my ass exploded then fuck it, time to hit the shower. I don’t even care if I’m not at my house LOL
posted on: 12-18-14 @ 3:47 PM

Adam, you only use 5 squares??? You must have a small clitoris.
posted on: 12-18-14 @ 3:48 PM

its a nightmare when you wipe so much your ass gets tender. fuckin hurts. adam don’t have that problem his asshole is used to getting tenderized.
posted on: 12-18-14 @ 3:55 PM

what i hate is when you clean your ass after a good healthy shit, i mean really get that fucker clean, and then the next day you still got fucking skidmarks in your underwear. but yet a woman wipes her ass once and then throws a thong on for 2 days and the string is still clean where it road on her ass.
posted on: 12-18-14 @ 4:17 PM

After I wipe & flush I use a bidet and towel off. But then again I fuck a lot so I am always ready to roll
posted on: 12-18-14 @ 4:22 PM

Well La De Fricken Da!! What do you want Adam,,,, A Medal??
posted on: 12-18-14 @ 4:53 PM

Wet Wipes are awesome. You feel like you just got out of the shower.
posted on: 12-18-14 @ 5:22 PM

I’m out of toilet paper fucking newspaper is rough on your ass but its always nice to wipe your ass with obama’s picture.
posted on: 12-18-14 @ 5:23 PM

Depends on the shit. Long day at work with only coffee and toast all day? Easy wipe. Indian food night with some alcohol and you got the green apple splatters? It’s gonna take a bit more shit tickets.
posted on: 12-18-14 @ 6:22 PM

I have on Ideal Adam...
posted on: 12-18-14 @ 6:58 PM

Adam don't use much toilet paper because his boyfriend packs his shit so tight he only shits once or twice a week!!
posted on: 12-18-14 @ 7:46 PM

I just happen to be dropping the kids off at the pool as I'm reading this. Five squares doesn't sound like a lot but as I take it off the roll it's an adequate amount for the first wipe. But 5 squares and walk away....no that won't get er done.
posted on: 12-18-14 @ 8:49 PM

yeah, you could even save more paper by perforating one square with your middle finger shoving it up the old wazoo and in a solid swipe lift the paper of your finger. Your a funny cool guy but I’d never shake on it.
posted on: 12-18-14 @ 9:32 PM

i’m messing with this girl who has a bidet. it’s pretty thorough. the only thing is, it desanitizes the rimjob experience from something nasty and naughty to an innocuous kiss on an elbow. i gotta get me a li’l waft of taint. it’s like food; smelling is 1/3rd of the pleasure. i want to know what it is i’m eating by the sight, smell and taste. nothing like a fat juicy ass, though, huh?
posted on: 12-18-14 @ 9:37 PM

Adam wipes front to back so he doesn’t get shit in his pussy.
posted on: 12-18-14 @ 9:56 PM

I have 4 daughters + wife. By the time I get in there its almost gone. I use the show towel or the bathroom rug. Then blame it on the dog.
posted on: 12-18-14 @ 9:58 PM

That's the problem with open plumbing...
posted on: 12-18-14 @ 10:51 PM

I usually dampen the paper with water from the shower for a deeper clean....maybe deeper is the wrong word to use
posted on: 12-19-14 @ 6:46 AM

Chucks using too much TP used to bug me, until I saw a dingleberry when I was 69'ing a chick. Shave and wipe ladies! The more the better.
posted on: 12-19-14 @ 1:06 PM

Adam knows how to talk about what really matter...
posted on: 12-19-14 @ 1:15 PM

My girl takes the roll and wraps her hand like 6 times just to wipe after a piss. I feel like her fuckin dad tellin her to use less toilet paper. If I'm in a pinch I'll make 1 square from the trash to get the job done.
posted on: 12-22-14 @ 5:14 AM