Happy Easter

on 04.05.2015

Yesterday I found out that today is Easter, so I started feeling all festive for this special day. If you don't know about the origins of Easter, let me break it down for you. A couple thousand years ago, some evil Jews turned a hippie named Jesus over to the Romans so they could nail him to a cross. Then he died and came back a few days later as a giant bunny who liked to hide eggs for all the neighborhood kids to search for. When they found an egg, he gave them some candy and took them for a ride in his awesome van without any windows. And that's why we eat ham on Easter. --Adam

Adam H., adamh@crazyshit.com
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Comments From the Peanut Gallery
Congratulations; you’ve started a new religion. It’s that easy!
posted on: 04-05-15 @ 3:51 PM

Find my huevos beeech!
posted on: 04-05-15 @ 4:06 PM

Fuck religion!!!!
posted on: 04-05-15 @ 4:19 PM

You can't get 3 days and 3 nights from Friday at noon until before sunrise on Sunday. Somebody lied about Jesus.
posted on: 04-05-15 @ 4:25 PM

Lmfao! Nice Adam.
posted on: 04-05-15 @ 4:26 PM

Such a vivid depiction of the origins of Easter. You should write children's books Adam.
posted on: 04-05-15 @ 4:30 PM

hang on...didn’t rockinron do the same thing
posted on: 04-05-15 @ 4:32 PM

No @vulture. Ron's working on mission. He "mans" the booth at the "Glory Hole for God-Jehovah Witness World Wide Tour"
posted on: 04-05-15 @ 5:03 PM

@vulture lol so rockinron found jesus pretending to be jesus, funny, as nutty as a mormon in a science lab but funny, @sbohica. Sucking peter for st peter booth? lmao
posted on: 04-05-15 @ 5:09 PM

But Adam, that still doesn't explain the need for Peeps.
posted on: 04-05-15 @ 5:15 PM

What in the mother fuckin" blue FUCK??... Sincerely, Robert Hallock the truckingman.
posted on: 04-05-15 @ 5:28 PM

You get the picture Wong he is "serving" the almighty!
posted on: 04-05-15 @ 6:08 PM

Happy nail a guy to a tree day Bitches!
posted on: 04-05-15 @ 6:12 PM

@toreal: It says on the third day He rose... No where does it say anything about 3 days and 3 nights. I’m thinking you got it mixed up with your 3days/3nights vacation to San Francisco your mom bought you and your bf.
posted on: 04-05-15 @ 7:47 PM

all christian holidays have their origins in pagan religions. in order for christianity to take, the church fathers had to make the new religion more palatable to the romans, and in order to that, christianity had to adopt many pagan holidays into their system but ingeniously presented it under the guise of christianity. easter is the spring equinox. the reborn sun (son, jebus, lol). ron’s a fucking moron.lmao
posted on: 04-05-15 @ 10:23 PM

Dude you’re stupid.
posted on: 04-05-15 @ 10:37 PM

I put my own special GLAZE on the ham. Mother-in-law loved it and even had seconds.
posted on: 04-05-15 @ 10:39 PM

and i got minus points for sayin "a dead jew nailed to a fuckin stick" or was it cain and able sodamising gamora?
posted on: 04-05-15 @ 11:12 PM

That was beautiful, Adam. Eat chocolate for Zombie Jesus.
posted on: 04-06-15 @ 10:46 PM