My Nightmare Of A Date Part 2
The Number 7 Question, Part 2.
Here's part 2. The following dates have everything from limp dicks to stinky pusses and everything in
between. And I am thinking that the second story and the last story are both from the same date.
Blind date with this ugly fat chic. She drank wine from a box and then gave me a hand-job.
Don't get me wrong. I have nothing against smoking bud every once in a while. But...constantly on a
first date?? I went on a date with a guy I had a crush on for like 3 years and he would not put the
pipe down. He either had a bong to his lips or a pipe in his hand. He was so hot though. I figured
if nothing else, he might be good in bed. He was in a stoned stuper all night and he didn't say more
than 2 words at a time. I couldn't hold a conversation with him he was so gone...we FINALLY made it
back to his place and we were right about to have sex (which I had been fantasizing about since my
freshman year!!) and he couldn't keep it up because he was so stoned. Not only couldn't he keep it
up he was like slapping it against my thigh like that was going to wake it up!!! To compound how
embarassing this already was he was saying stupid stuff like "This never happens!" (yeah right,
like you are going to tell me that it happens all the time, lay off the BONG HITS and maybe you
could fuck me!) I understand that guys have probs with that sometimes, but when it's from smoking
your brains out, especially on a first date, you deserve every bit of embarassment you get.
First date: he was parked up the road, I didn't know why until I got in his car and his little sister
and her friend 'crash-started' the car (I live on a hill). After dropping his sister and friend off,
we went to the local pub and when we came out, we had a flat tyre. He pulled from the boot, a block
of wood and a pot (yes thats right - a fucken saucepan) and told me to put the pot on the block when
he lifted the car up... You'd think I'd have learnt from that - hmmm well he made up for it that night
and for many nights and 2 years later, I was saying, "I Do!" On the wedding night it rained and the
reception hall leaked - all the food flooded... so we went back to my mothers house but when we left
the hall - all our presents had crashed all over the road (the fool had put them on the roof of the
car while he opened the door for more presents and forgot about them). later that night, he was so
drunk, I had to drive - but half way home, we ran out of gas!!! We hitched the rest of the way home
and when we got there he slept with a bucket on the couch and I cried my heart out. BUT!! Thats not
the end of it...... no - all of the food from the reception (the undrenched, uneaten lot) was to be
transported in my husbands uncles van back to our house. Next morning, the uncle showed up barefoot
and sick (his first night of drinking). His van was in a ditch and all the food spread 15km along the
motorway!! He didn't shut the back doors. I have now divorced this man and his family... praise the lord....
I invited my stepsisters friend over to have sex, and she complied. When we got in the room, and i finally got her clothes off we were about to do it when i smelt this rancid odor. Her crotch stunk so bad i had to ask her to leave. She kept asking why and i tried to break it to her easy but she just didn't understand. So i finally told her the problem she started to cry and she left. Crude but that was definetly my worst date!!
Well, where do I start? I would have to say that my worst date ever was with one of my ex boyfriends. He was trying hard to work his wasy back into my life, nearly 3 years after we had broke up. Well, I dumped my ex because he couldn't stop getting trashed all the time, so this guy, the one trying to get back into my life, shows up at my door drunk, and his eyes are bloodshot. His excuse was that he was nervous, and he drank a few beers to take the edge off. Well, we get in the car, and he is like, all over me! I was driving, how nice was that of me? So, I made a big circle, pulled back into my drive way, and told him, thank you for a great evening, and, well, it won't happen again! I walked in the house, and shut the door behind me. This was my worst date. (By the way, he showed up at my house in his mother's piece of shit car, yeah, a real winner!)
a guy that was really a woman. Imagine that
I met this guy at a bar. He picked me up at my apartment. We went to Fanueil Hall for the night. We had a great time. We go back to his place. I got a bloody nose. I was laying down. He takes off his clothes....I said "this is our first date, what are you doing?". He was a prison guard so he out weighed me by about 300 lbs. He is standing butt-ass naked in front of me. Ever see a 350 pound man with a two inch dick? How embarrassing! Thank goodness, I ran out and caught a cab before he could get dressed!
My first semester my freshman year at college, I had just broken up with this girl I had been dating for two months. She had the biggest tits in my high school, and I had wanted to bang her since sixth grade.
I was really bummed out about it, and after eight weeks of being all alone at a new school, I finally got a date with this hottie from the next dorm. She had let me know in no uncertain terms that after dinner, my need to bang some strange would be taken care of. It was the closest to a sure thing I had found in a while.
So we agreed to meet at this Italian restaurant after she got off of work. Some buddies called me up about an hour ahead of time to try out their new bong, and I figured fuck it, I had plenty of time, and a nice buzz would calm my nerves.
Of course, one bowl led to another, and so on, until I realized I had ten minutes to get to the restaurant. I ran out of the dorm and the next mile and some change to get there. I arrived outside, desperately out of breath, flushed, and stoned out of my gourd. In retrospect, it was probably the run that forced too much THC into my system in such a short, powerful time. Kind of like, if you don't cough, you don't get off.
I managed a smile, and stumbled in behind her in a blinded haze. I don't remember ordering, and was basically blacked out until the food got there, telling her I had been up all night studying the night before.
Next thing I know, there is a plate of baked ziti in front of me, and kind of like when you look in the mirror after eating too much acid, well you get the idea. I knew then and there that if I didn't get out, both my ziti and my date would be covered in chunks.
I couldn't even speak coherently, and mumbled something about the men's room, before ducking out of the back door into the fresh air, on my way back over to my buddies place for some more bingers.
Later that week, I begged food poisoning, and she gave it up the next time we went out, but for getting too high to function before my first date with this gorgeous chick, then ditching her at the restaurant, it qualified as my worst date ever.