My Nightmare Of A Date Part 4

on 12.27.2001

The Number 7 Question, Part 4.

12/27/01 Here's the last one, number 4, and remember, if you have a shitty date, let us know about it.

I was fucking my date in the ass when somebody knocked at the door. It was her older sister to pick her up early. She walked right in and when I pulled out my date shit all over the carpet.

My girlfriend was dying to go out with this guy but she wasn't allowed to go out on a date unless one of her friends went too! The guy had a friend and they were inseparable.....so guess who got stuck going out with him. ME! The good friend that I am. So they pick us up and we go to the drive-in. We were watching "Night Shift" with Henry Winkler and Michael Keaton. Come to find out it was a really funny movie, but not that night. My girlfriend was in the backseat. Maybe 10 minutes into the movie - the car starts going from side-to-side....oh yes, my nimpho friend was getting it on with her man. My date....had the worst breath ever! He kept sucking on mints....but guess what....it didn't help. So I avoided kissing him at all costs. Ever go out with someone with really bad breath? What a turn off! Thank goodness I never gave him my number to go out with him again.

I don't know if this qualifies as a date, but I'll send it in anyway.

Senior year of college I had to bite the bullet and move into my fraternity house. We went out this one thursday night to the local bar that boasted 25 cent drafts on thursdays. The kicker was that they would let you bring in any size pitcher and they would fill it with beer for $3. Well, we had this three gallon jug with a tap at the bottom that they actually let us into the bar with. Needless to say, we couldn't see by the time we got out of the bar.

On the way out I happened to run into this hottie that lived across the street from me. I convinced her to come back to the late night party at my fraternity house.

After another couple of beers we ended up in her kitchen across the street doing shots of tequila.

Next thing I know, we are up in her bedroom going at it. I swear to God, thats the last thing I remember that night...

Next thing I know, I wake up in bed with this chick with all my clothes on. My only problem, (other than not closing the deal) is that she has one of those plastic dorm matresses and I had peed the bed. I swear to god, the bed was like a swimming pool.

So now I'm stuck with my arm under this chick wondering how I'm going to get the fuck out of there without waking her up. After 10 minutes of slowely inching my arm out from under her, I managed to roll out of bed without wakeing her up.

The really shitty part of the whole situation is that we had to run into each other every day after that going back and forth to class. Amazingly enough, I still can't to this day tell who was more embarrassed. I think that she thought that she was the one who peed the bed and I split on her...

My Freshamn year in college I fell head over heels for this older guy who was just huge. I mean size wise. He weighed damn near 300 pounds but was all muscle, just sexy as can be. He dressed awesome, had tons of jewelry and drove a sweet car. Every girls dream...so I thought. Half way through my freshman year the guy finally notices me and asks me out. I am stoked, until he picks me up. He picks me up and as were driving he tells me he needs gas. So he pulls up to the pump starts pumping then tells me he has to go to the bathroom, so I gotta finish pumping the gas. Well, I'm done pumping he's not back and there is a line behind us so I had to go in and pay for the gas then move the car. He comes back doesnt even mention the money for the gas that I paid for. We get to a pricey restaurant and we order, everything was fantastic, our bill comes and it is $145, he goes to pay and his credit card gets rejected, he tries another and another, yep 3 cards they all get denied so I gotta pay before we end up going to jail. After the date he appologizes and gives me some bullshit about someone stealing his identity and probably maxed his cards out. So he takes me to the beach and we sit there and he gets all romantic, and when I about forgave him he gets naked and wants to have sex, I figured hell why not I might as well get someting out of this date. Well, this huge man has a dick no more than 2 inches long, and cant get it hard. There I am half naked laying on a beach knowing I aint gonna have sex and just paid $165 for the worst date ever. That wasnt the end, when I told him to finally take me home, his piece of shit car wouldn't start and I had to catch a cab home 40 miles and paid $55. That was the worst date of my life and I ended up paying $220 for it. (oh, and he never paid me back)

My nightmare of a date was my jr prom. I had been dating this guy who was in the marines, he comes home for the weekend, I get all ready making myself up and all he does is put on his dress blues. He don't even iron them and they look like shit. If his camanding officer had seen him he would of got in trouble. Well we get ready to leave and he ask me what do you want to eat? I tell him some sea food would be good. He was like ok, he takes me to fucking long johns silver, we don't even eat there we go to the river and park to eat. After that we go to the prom get our pictures taken. I leave him sitting at our table and go of with some of my friends. That is not the end of it after we do all the after prom things he takes me to this sleazy hotel where he has this room with a water bed with the fake red silk sheets. No telling what was on them. I just turned around and sat in the car. He had the nerve to come and ask me what the hell my proublem was? you tell me?

Mine had to have been when I took an exgirlfriend out for some star watching and wine drinking...but with my best friend as a third wheel. After sitting for some time (late at nite) I went to my car to fetch a blanket..and when I came back I gave my friend the "get the hell out of here" look, so that I could get down to business. Well, business was good and all things went well. The next day my friend drops the bomb on me that while I was blanket fetching he was giving it to my ex...who I then orally pleasured upon my arrival! He informed me of this by asking "so dude, how's my dick taste"!

i pick her up and walk her to my car as we are walking there is this bad smell like ass puss and old piss who is it this bicth so i just pay no mind to it as the date go on we go to the movies and no lie we are asked to leave cause she smells to make a long story sort i fucked and what happend was her puss was not wash that was fuked up

Ok, here it is. I took this chick to a party that was all dudes, she was the only female there. A six pack into the party she goes into the bedroom and starts a skull train. I was repulsed by this so I sat and drank till six in the morning when we ran out of beer. By this time I was really loaded and couldn't drive to get more(I had her car anyways and she knew I was too drunk to drive). The guy having the party asked if he drove and I went along could we take her car. She said yeah and we preceded off to smash her car into a cement poll. We were both arrested and taken to county. After a friend payed my $225 bond I find out she's saying we stole the car. I don't think they come any worse than that.

I went out on a blind date...halfway throught the conversation at a restaurant...he proposed we go back to his place...told him i was not interested....said I was a cock tease and mentioned that he had his gun with him....I ran as fast as I can out of the room....twas a date with mr. psycho...

I was with this girl sor about three monthes and wehn everything got to going good we decided it wastime for the big DO THE DO so we made plans and all. Everything was gping well we had drinks and a bit of weed and when we got started one of our friends came to the room. That was okay we had all weekend. so we got back in the groove and her comes the cops talking about they were checking out a robbery that had occured. that shit just blew the whole mood. So we called it a week and I guess we'll try again when no one knows where the hell we are.

This chick named Sabrina and I were always talking shit to each other about sex.Well finally we decided to do the deed,but her only condition was that we actually go on a date.I thought a movie and dinner was a good trade for some ass,which is all we both wanted.When I went to pick her up her little sister told her parents some of the stuff we talk about on the phone.Instead of wanting to kick my ass he said if we wanted to go anywhere we had to take little sis,armed with a cell phone in case I tried anything.That was the only date and still didn't get to hit it.

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Comments From the Peanut Gallery
That is some really fucked up shit...
posted on: 08-29-11 @ 7:51 PM