My Mp3 Player Story.

on 09.20.2004

Since there ain't shit going on in the past week to talk about, I guess I'd tell you about how I got my mp3 player. The only reason that this story is worth telling is that involves a huge corporation, me, one warrantee and a washing machine. So with that in mind, let's start the show.

So it begins.

Back when I moved into my house in 2000 my parents decided to give me a washer and dryer for my house warming gift. I had a budget of 500 bucks. So we headed down to the cheapest place in town, and when I mean cheap. I am almost 100&% sure that they sell refurbished crap. Anywhoo, I picked out a Roper washer and dryer. I believe we got the dryer fucking super cheap because it was a floor model, and some dude must have gotten pissed at his chick and kicked the shit out of it. Of course what the fuck does that matter as long as it works and we got like eighty bucks of the mother fucker.

As check out time comes they have this little slick trick of giving you the price and then upsetting you on the warrantee. It's the warrantee that they make their money on. Since my Roper washer and dryer seemed like they wouldn't last too long and I might get some brand spanking new shit if they kicked the bucket, we went for the warrantee. Which came out to be just under 500 bucks.

I gotta say these cheap ass washer and dryers have been kicking ass for about 4 years now. That includes me, a guy who really didn't have no clue on how to wash clothes, would pack the fucking washer so full that I had to stand on it to shut the lid. And I would wonder why some of the clothes came out dry. I just thought I had a fucking bad ass washing machine. Well, get a woman in your life like I did, she taught me the proper way to wash some clothes.

For a birthday present my parents extended the warrantees on the washer and dryer another 2 years. So finally the washer goes. This is where all the trouble starts. I made sure that the power is plugged in, and the breaker isn't fucked. Everything checks out ok.

I call the service center to see if they can fix this fucking thing so I don't have to wear beer and chicken wing stained clothes another week. They say they are going to have to look into it and call me back. After 3 days or so, I call them back. They say that instead of sending out a service man, they are going to give me a store credit for 200 bucks. It seems it's cheaper to get me a new one that to send someone out to fix it. Ok, I can deal with this. It's not so bad so far, huh?

When I got home from work I decided that since God gave me mechanical skills to fix just about anything, I was gonna fix this fucker. All it really was, was the thing you turn to select your setting was a little fucked up. After about an hour of fucking around, doing a ton of swearing and a few beers, I'm back in business. It worked like a charm, and I was washing clothes like a mad man.

Now I got this 200 dollar credit, and it's just blowing a whole in my pocket. I figured a mp3 player would be really cool. I could use it at the gym, doing yard work, and in general when I wanted to ignore people. So I head on over to Brandsmart. If anyone out there has ever been to a Brandsmart, it's kinda like a Best Buy or a Circuit Shitty, only it's like they are having a UN meeting in the store at all times. I've head some languages in there that probably only 6-7 other non-natives have ever heard. As I digress. I decided to go on apparently the busiest day of the year. A Sunday. After about three and a half minutes I had enough, 200 bucks or not I was outta there.

My second attempt was much better. Well not much better actually. It just ended in being productive. After about 30 minutes of trying to get some asshole salesman to put the order in, I finally got the order. The he tries to sell me a fucking warrantee! I'm like no way. He says he'll knock about 50 bucks off the price. That makes the total about two hundred and twenty something. I'm like sure why not.

I proceed to the check out. I hand them the order, then tell them I have store credit and in the same breath I tell her that I don't want the warrantee. As a side note, this is how you save some bucks a place like that. Get the salesman to drop the price if you get the warrantee and then don't buy it. But you still get the lower price. Back to the story. This is where things got bad. First off I don't think the poor cashier was really good with English, or a register. As a matter of fact, she might not have been very good at hygiene either. So as she calls in a manager, Brandsmart satellites are hooking up in outter space and whole command center in Texas goes into red alert, I stand there waiting.

Almost an hour and 15 minutes later the manager lady comes to me, finally hand me back my license, and says everything is all take care of. Just go down to the pick up dock to pick up my mp3 player and Pulp Fiction DVD (I had a few bucks left over since I didn't get the warrantee). I take my very disgruntled ass down to the pick up docks. But before I go, I said, "can I get the DVD now?" , she says "No, they'll have it at the dock for you" Basically it was sitting on the other side of the counter, this must have been foreshadowing.

At the loading dock they get my mp3 player fast as fuck. That was pleasant surprise. Now all I have to do is get the DVD. Ten minutes go by, twenty minutes go by. At the twenty five minute mark I say something to the effect of "hey what the fuck is going on here?". One of the guys says, "we have been looking for the DVD and can't find it." Well wouldn't ya know it. I decided that they might want the very important information that the DVD is sitting on the counter. I tell them and with in 2 minutes, I have my shit and am on my way. Very, very discussed I might add.

I have my mp3 player. It works, and I use it all the fucking time. I also learned a few lessons in life. 1. never go to a cheap ass store to buy shit. You are going to get what you pay for. Whether it be in merchandise or service. 2. you can always rip off a company that provides shitty service. 3. I'm doing the same thing with the dryer before the warrantee runs out. Who knows maybe I'll get a TV or something, but I'm never buying another thing from Brandsmart again.

Jay D., jay@crazyshit.com
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