Drunken Thanksgiving

on 12.01.2004

Well folks, hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving. Me? I had a most excellent Thanksgiving. That is if you like drinking till it hurts, curing hangovers by drinking all over again, creating a fog so thick that people felt the necessity to come over and make sure that the house wasn't on fire, you know that sort of hard core stuff.

Our little escapade began with the road trip that a female friend of mine and I took to get to a most devastated and military city in Florida…Pensacola. It so happens that we were going up there to meet up with my bro, his lovely wife, his most adorable little baby boy, and a buddy of ours from Dallas, TX. With exception of the baby of course, we're all childhood friends. Make no mistake we all were little hellions growing up and it just got worse and worse, as we got older. Don't get me wrong we are responsible people for the most part, but when we get together it is a most volatile combination. Everything was normal until thanksgiving dinner was over.

It's a shame I don't remember much after thanksgiving but, I do remember receiving what seemed to be like a never ending supply of shots, the girls falling on the dance and bar floors (sloppy drunks), oh yeah some chick who dropped on her back right in the middle of the dance floor while some dude came and started eating her out! Now that was some crazy shit, wish I had the camera with me.

No doubt Seville's was definitely a cool local place to have fun, but you know how every town or city has that one last stop bar. You know, the one that stays open the latest, "The Last of The Mohicans". Well to my surprise the one in Pensacola is a B.Y.O.B. Imagine that. If I knew ahead of time I would have been happier that a pig in shit, but instead I was left wandering trying to buy beer off of the locals. How humiliating, but then again there is no shame in my game, for a beer is after all a beer.

Now color me curious but there must not be a gay scene if Pensacola cause when I went to this late night bar. I saw some Ass Astronauts trying to reach Deep Space Nine. What's funny is that I didn't notice it at first, and then all of a sudden I felt like my bros and I where being watched (that burning sensation). After a quick look around this dual room bar we came to the realization that about 40% of the bar was gay, (keep in mind that's a real fucking drunk 40%) and the manliest cross dressing man (white male 6'5" about 225lbs) was starring down my bro, like my bro was the last piece of meat on earth and he was hungry. At this point we decided it would be best if we left, for after all we where having multiple black outs and that would suck, if you know what I mean.

Yes folks you to would have enjoyed this weekend wit yours truly if you could appreciate all that drunkenly disorder, all the dark club stuff that I didn't mention, all the whores that would not leave us alone, all the Ass Astronauts, all that and a deep fried turkey that still had the bag full of gizzards in it, compliments of my bro (it's a good thing we also baked a turkey).

With all the shit we consumed I'm amazed at the fact that we are still alive.
What a fucking weekend!
Hasta La Vista Baby!

Jesse U, jesse@crazyshit.com
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