They're Dropping Like Flies.

on 04.05.2005

Fuck, the undertaker has had a busy few weeks. There have been so many deaths in the news it isn't even funny. Well some might be funny. Like the Terri Schiavo one is still kinda funny to me. But that's a whole other story. The big story is that the Pope passed away on Sunday. Not to mention Mitch Hedberg and Johnny Cochran also passed on.

I gotta start of with the Pope. He's like the head honcho, kinda like God's right hand man here on earth. I was born in '77 and he was popinized(?!?!) in '79. Basically that's all I ever knew of a pope. So it was every weird to hear him go. I mean my whole world didn't come crashing down, but it is very weird watching all this on TV.

Now I guess it's time to reveal my religious background. Believe it or not, I'm Catholic. Yup, being a sick'o and catholic I guess go hand in hand. Also, for you non-Catholic guys out there, the Catholic chics fuck the best. I can attest to that! Here's another little known fact, I even make it to church some Sundays. That is if I get home at a decent time on Saturday night. It's just something my family has always done. Sure some Sundays I expect the priest to start pointing at me and saying "Here lies the Devil" or some shit like that. But he never does and I make it out alive.

On to the rest of the dead heads.

Man was I finally glad to see that Terri Schiavo turn into worm food. I would have been so pissed off if the Pope and her had died in the same time. Because if she would have gotten more coverage that the Pope, what would be some fucked up shit. I mean, the Pope has done more for people with one finger that this bitch has ever even conceived of. Now the circus is over and all the religious nuts have gone to bother someone else.

My man Johnny Cochran goes to the great trial in the sky, or the great trial below depending on how you feel about lawyers. When a double homicide can be summed up in these simple words, "If it doesn't fit, you must acquit." Come on you gotta give it to that man he was the best. He was a true lawyer, and you loved to hate him. He actually lived about 5 miles from us down here in South Florida for a few years. I personally just loved to hear him in front of the camera, talking to the media. Giving some outrageous reason why his client was innocent. He will be missed.

Now on to Mitch Hedberg, he was one fucking funny dude. Like Johnny, I was highly amused by this dude. His one-liners were the best. It was like they were joke grenades or some shit. We had missed him the last time he was here in West Palm. Now I regret not going out to see him. I caught up on some of his past comedy on Comedy Central Friday night. It's just a shame to see talent like that go.

I'm outta here, hopefully I'll wake up tomorrow to ruin someone else's day.

Jay D., jay@crazyshit.com
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