Have Pickup Will Help Move.

on 02.01.2006

Did you know that more Americans that own pickup trucks will help more people move this year than Hurricane Katrina and Wilma combined? The answer is yes, and since I have owned a pickup since 1996, I personally moved myself (of course), roommates, family, friends and a few ex's, all more than a few times.

Yesterday, I volunteered to help a good friend move, and I'm not complaining that I did it. I AM complaining about the fact that A. I'm getting old, and my body hurts, B. moving into a condo/apartment building.

First, I am getting old, and today proves it. Man, my fucking shoulder blades are hurting like hell. I even thought about going to a Jack Shack, and paying them for a back rub. Come on, it's the poor man's massage, sure they don't know how to give a message. But for twenty bucks, you teach them, and not only do you get a back rub. you also get a lower frontal body hand release. Not that I would know.

I'm sure the 900 pound couch was the major cause. Then again, it could be its evil baby sister the matching chair. Which for some reason, was ten times harder to get into every fucking door than the couch. I don't know what these things where made of, but Jesus, I'm sure steel, concrete and maybe some sort of sand product where all used. Here's the kicker, not only did we have to get the couches out of the previous location, then we had to get them into the condo door, single door that is. Then into the service elevator, then into the condo door. Ughh.

Now on to the condo thing. My buddy moved into a pretty bad ass, upper class condo building. Now I never knew this, but in these kinds of places, you have certain times you can move in or out. Like…let's say, umm 11 am to 1:30 pm. Yes people, that's how bad it was. And security was on us like white on rice. Sure you'd think they would leave a few crackers alone, but once they seen my ghetto ass truck, they had to come over and see that we were about to steal.

After basically paying them off, we were allowed to move in until about 7 pm. That's so nice of them. I guess this limits amount of people that do the old midnight move on their asses. I suppose that's where the term condo commandos comes from. I'm just not used to that kind of shit. I live in house, in a neighbor hood where the cops are never there, and no one says shit about anything. I like to call it my slice of heaven.

That seems to sum up the moving experience for January of 2006. I'm sure I'll chime in with yet another story soon. And remember you non pickup people, be kind to your pickup friends. They might be moving your shit, and take a corner too fast and there goes your two hundred dollar coffee table and the boxes that say "Kitchen Fragile". And remember my motto, "If it falls off, I ain't stopping'".

Hollar back from da Jack Shack!

Jay D., jay@crazyshit.com
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