Why In The Hell Did I Do Black Friday?

on 11.28.2006

Now that the 5-day drinking binge known as the Thanksgiving holiday is over, I thought I'd share with you about the dumbest thing I did. Yes, as the title says, I did the fucking stupid ass Black-Friday-wait-in-line-for-some-crap in Circuit City. Why you ask? Welp folks, I have no good reason other than we had nothing better to do. Besides sleep of course, and I have to tell you, I love to sleep.

Thursday after my friends and me did the family things, they came over to my house for a little get together. We're chilling, drinking, shooting the shit, normal stuff. Then Dave (the winner of greatest idea for wasting time in 2006) decides to mention that Circuit City has laptops for two hundred bucks. Which is a good argument in it's self. I mean if you get pissed at the mother fucker, you just break it and you don't feel too bad about it. Some way, some how, Dave talked me into going to Circuit City to see if we can get some laptops.

Now I totally understand that we aren't going to get jack shit in the store. Especially a fucking $200 laptop. But after final analysis, there was some shit I wanted. Like a 250 Gig USB drive (we always need storage in the office). As we are driving by, at 2:30 am, there's already about 75 plus people in line. I'm like no fucking way we are going to do this shit. After some persuasion, Dave convinces me to pull in so we can get in line. Fine. The line wasn't actually bad. There were some fat girls ahead of us, and it was late, I had a few drinks and they were starting to look good. Not that good, just good enough.

After a few minutes in line, I remember Scott is going to be getting off work soon. I call him up and he's right around the corner and he's going to stop by. Cool at least, now we have a few more people up in this bitch.

Once Scott shows up, and we wait for about another hour, Scott calls his sister up. She's a big shopper I suppose, because I heard she shopped till 6 pm that day. Well, low and behold, she was just pulling into the parking lot when he called. Of course they jump into our spot. Now we have like 5-6 people in our spot and Dave and me have been here for two and a half hours now.

Doors finally open! It's about fucking time! As we are walking in, I notice some fucking douche bags trying to skip into line. I mean really, you can't wait like the rest of us. But the door guys just booted'm out. Now it's a mad dash to get anything and everything you can. People are seriously fighting over shit. I was just fucking amazed. We grabbed our two usb drives, some blank dvds, and blank cd's. Then Dave, Scott and me walk around the store just to check everyone out. Here's where we went wrong. While we were walking around, people were getting in the checkout lines. Boy, let me tell you, those lines were fucking huge. Fuck waiting outside and shit, that was cool. Waiting inside was like 200 times worse. I mean the line wouldn't move for 20-30 minutes at a time.

As we are sitting at the bumb-fuck-end of this huge fucking line, Dave spots Scott's sister. Yes the same ones that jumped into our spot outside. Yup, and this time, she's going to let us in her spot. Fuck yeah, we jumped ahead of about 60 people, at least. That alone cut out about 2 hours from this fucking nightmare. After about 10 minutes in the actual register and about 20 receipts to mail in for rebates I was a free man again. Such bullshit.

This is my advice for you, just incase one of your friends ever tries to talk you into it: Don't fucking do it. It sucks. It really fucking sucks. The amount if time I spent that night/morning, is more than I have spent, grocery, clothes and house shopping. In my whole entire life! There was a few times I was going to punch Dave in the head just because he talked me into this shit.

Jay D., jay@crazyshit.com
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