The New Badasses On The Block.
Ohhh nooo...here comes Jay and Jesse, hide the kids; don't let the women out...they bad asses! Ok, ok, I'm just about done. Maybe. And what the fuck am I talking about? Well folks me (that's Jay in case you don't know) and Jesse (the big black guy that does the pictures and videos) have joined a mixed martial arts class. Well for that matter I guess you could call it a team or something. All I know is it's fucking fun as shit. After a session of trying to punch someone in the face you go home all happy and shit. And in the scheme of life, that's a good day.
The reason we joined has got to do with Pork Chunk Wednesday
, that I'm sure of. I actually bought Jesse's first month, and equipment for his Christmas bonus, so in a way so did everyone that helps support crazyshit.com. Trust me, this one's worth it. I get to try and punch him in the face now, and I don't have to worry about getting killed in the office. Plus Jesse and me needed to lose some weight, and we ain't doing no faggy-o step classes and shit. We're rolling like Chuck Norris and round housing our way to being healthy.
So far, we have done two classes, MMA (mixed martial arts) and Brazilian jiu-jitsu. Let me tell you, I really don't watch the fights on TV. I may have only seen one, and that was about a month ago, but holy shit, is it bad ass! I'm sure we're just starting out and what not, but it was a blast. And I'm sure somewhere down the road, someone is going to kick my ass big time, but I'm enjoying for now. The only downside to all this is this; the ground fighting is borderline homo. I have never been that close to another man in my whole life. I just can't get used to it, it doesn't make it any worse that Jesse and me have the sickest, twisted sense of humors out there. The whole time it's "this is soooo gay". I was just hoping that he didn't get wood. Pop a blood vessel in his brain and try to mount me. Listen folks, it could happen. I was scarred for my butt-hole's life.
If Jesse or me die of a heart attack, know this: Don't cry at my funeral. Drink till you can't see straight, and then fuck a fat girl (at my funeral, there will be plenty of fat woman wanting dick too!). But listen; don't just fuck her once that night. When you wake up in the morning, fuck her again, just so you know your fucking a fat girl. Then wipe you dick off on the curtains, and THEN leave. That's how I would do it, and you would have to do in memory of me.
Tomorrow is kickboxing and wrestling. Pray for our evil souls. Also here's some pre-going to the first class pictures. You can just see the badass emitting from our bodies.
Somewhere in China, a village is missing their Kun-Fu Master. Lucky for them, we found him:
"Napoleon, don't be jealous that I've been chatting online with babes all day. Besides, we both know that I'm training to be a cage fighter."