The Importance Of Knowing Last Call Time

on 06.13.2007

Last weekend I was in a situation that calls for precise knowledge of closing time. Lack of this knowledge seriously can harm a person and did some serious harm, that's for sure. Not only harm, but I think maybe permanent damage to my brain.

Here's how it all when down. Me and Dave were in Tampa for the weekend for a Adult Internet convention (porn). It's Saturday night, downtown Tampa is jumping. We have a late dinner meeting with some people that ran really, really late. We get outta the dinner to head back to the hotel to take a shuttle to this nightclub that some huge web hosting company has rented out the third floor and it's all free drinks.

We arrive there at about 12:15ish am. Get up stairs, find a spot of the bar, and order a few drinks. After a few drinks two thinks happened. One, we were running low on cash, and no ATM was in site, so we couldn't tip the hot fucking girls when we get our drinks. Two, we thought, notice I said though that the club was closing at 2 am. Which as most of you drunks know means they are going to stop serving around 1:30 or so. Here's where we went wrong, because two wrongs don't make a write.

The idea then forms between the two of us. Let's order 6 Absolut with sodas per round. We'll speed drink them, and a couple rounds we'll be too to go. Did I forget to mention that we were totally sober? Yeah we were. I can actively remember about 5 rounds. After that I don't think I was conscious anymore. But I do remember thinking, why in the fuck aren't they closing down, its 2:00 am! Then I asked the chick behind the bar, she says "Ohh we don't close till 3 am!" Ohh no! We timed this perfectly for 2 am, now it's 3 am; I think I have to throw up.

It's weird because my mind works so fucking different on booze. It's like autopilot or something. All I know is we were in a club, next thought I am in my hotel room fully dressed in bed. There's no in between. Just stories of what happened. Like waiting for the shuttle back to the hotel, and throwing up. The driver made me sit next to a bucket or some shit. Maybe fucking a fat girl. Who knows, not me. Thank god.

The moral of the story is, when in a strange town, check the closing time if you are going to binge drink. Trust me, it's worth it!

This is how we started the binge drinking

Booze! It's Greeeaaat!

This is what everything looked like to me!

Sorry, had to get a picture of this ass too

That's about 2 rounds there

Dave's not looking too good now


Ohhh baby feeling NO pain now!

Little bit of pain now

Jay D., jay@crazyshit.com
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Comments From the Peanut Gallery
i so want to party with you guys
posted on: 06-21-07 @ 6:38 PM