This Water Tastes Like Shit!

on 10.08.2007

I'm waiting for a week to go by when the Authorities local or otherwise DON'T tell me about some new form of Ecoli found in a place it shouldn't be like our food and water! If you haven't figured it out yet when some random news anchor tells you Ecoli has been in food it's a nice way of saying it is contaminated with SHIT!

The reason I bring this up is because last week here in West Palm Beach (the other Palm Beach) they had a boil water ordinance for the entire city due to an unknown sewage contamination. Apparently one of the local laundry mats got the drinking water pipe mixed up with the shit water pipe and hilarity ensued. By hilarity I mean the city has been drinking contaminated (Shit) water (Water) for a longer time than the Mayor and the rest of the city council would like to admit. From the way the city made it sound they have had this shitwater problem for quite some time and weren't aware. I can only imagine how many months went by before they realized all that Chocolate River running through the drinking supply wasn't coming from Willy Wonka's factory. Working here at CrazyShit.com I happen to have a fondness in fecal matter (Shit) of all forms. The only thing is I'm not too crazy about having this so called fecal matter (Shit) in my water.

Now I don't really have a problem with this since I never drink city water because oddly enough it tastes like shit. It's just a pain in the ass when you have to use bottled water to clean your teeth since brushing with your neighbor's shitwater probably isn't the best path to healthy teeth and gums. All you people out there who say you can't tell the difference between city water and bottled water can go ahead and keep drinking your arsenic laced shitwater, I have been aware for many years that public utilities in the U.S. are often in a state of disrepair until something like a bridge collapsing or a whole city getting flooded inspires the local leaders to finally do what they got elected for in the first place. Then and only then do they see fit to do anything about this impending doom the populace unknowingly facing.

This disturbing trend of shit contamination is not limited to water. It has spread to every type of product and service imaginable. It's amazing to think that between waking up in the morning and taking your shit shower in contaminated water and then making your way to lunch to get your shitburger only to come home and eat your shit salad. Doesn't matter if it's spinach or lettuce because now they both come in a mystery poop flavor. An excerpt from the book "Fast Food Nation" sums up the whole shit problem with this nice little quote. "In the USDA study 78.6% of the ground beef contained microbes that are spread primarily by fecal material. The medical literature on the causes of food poisoning is full of euphemisms and dry scientific terms: coliform levels, aerobic plate counts, sorbitol, MacConkey agar, and so on. Behind them lies a simple explanation for why eating hamburger can now make you seriously ill: There is shit in the meat." So you can call it whatever kind of fancy scientific name you want the real deal is you are eating shit everyday with a smile. Personally I have vowed to eat nothing but Mattel toys covered with tasty lead flavored Chinese paint because at least I know they haven't been contaminated with shit.

Greg J., gregj@crazyshit.com
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Comments From the Peanut Gallery
yea.... but whats really gonnna fuk u up greg.... there is fecal microbes in all the air we breathe, and on every surface in your home, including your bottled water toothbrush...... hehe
posted on: 10-12-07 @ 5:50 AM

they watered down the lead paint first so ha!!!
posted on: 10-12-07 @ 1:51 PM

Blah, you or I have NEVER gotten sick from eating all these horrible shit microbes. So what are we complaining about?!?! You're tough, I'm tough, LIFE is dirty. Everything is dirty, as long as your body is healthy, you don't have a damn thing to worry about. ;) Fecal matter is everywhere, in everything we do, because humans are dirty creatures. It's always been that way, it'll always be that way. Why worry about something you can't change Greg?? Why worry about it if you CAN change it? Then change it :-o
posted on: 10-21-07 @ 11:36 AM