My Favorite Holiday Memories
The holiday season is in full gear and I can‘t quite help but get a little sentimental. You see this is my favorite time of year; there is football and basketball on tv, the weather is awesome and well let‘s just says I got a case of the ole Christmas spirit!
To be blunt, everyone I grew up was a total asshole! That‘s and understatement, but it‘s these assholes that I have the fondest memories, especially around the holidays.
Well let‘s see where do I begin? It‘s Christmas night I‘ll say 2001 or 2002, my whole family is at my cousin‘s house. Now let me set this straight my cousin is a cool motherfucker! He throws one hell of a party and every year we chill until like 5 in the morning just drinking, smoking and bull-shitting about growing up.
This one-year someone started trying to slip some weed brownies in. The space cakes never had a chance. They were gone in minutes and the best part was my grandfather screaming, "Who brought the fucking brownies?" Well we still don‘t know for sure but they show up every year.
This one-year someone had the bright idea to slip on to a person who barely would drink let alone do drugs lets call him...Rick. Rick is not really related to me at all, he‘s my cousin‘s brother-in-law so were related in a white trash sort of way. But he somehow ended up with a pot brownie and within the 25-30 friends and family that were there, word began to spread. I had got there some 20 minutes later first thing my cousin said, with dread in his voice, "Dude look at Rick someone gave him a brownie, in about 15 minutes he wont know what the fuck is going on!" Almost to that exact time the brownie kicks in.
Poor Rick is sitting down starting to sweat, getting dizzy, and getting really hungry all at once. This sudden shock to his senses hit a peak when he cried "I don‘t feel good!" My cousin being the good host he is realizes, "This bitch is gonna fucking tell on me!" Sure enough that‘s when the party really started, Rick by this point is running around the like an even gayer version of Peter Pan, only crying and wondering aloud "Am I going to die?"
After about 2 hours of this clown regressing deeper and deeper into a full-blown panic attack, the 5 space cakes I had eaten finally kicked in and I will say this I really can‘t recall much else after that point. That‘s why I love the Holidays so much.