Gator Hunting Tim - First Blood

on 09.08.2009

Gator Hunting Tim : First Blood

In the latest chapter of "The Chronicles of Gator Hunting Tim" I bring you "First Blood".

Last Friday we all met up at Crazy Shit HQ and had a thirst for blood! We all agreed that it was the night to bag and tag our first gator kill of the season. Previously on Thursday afternoon, the truck we used to go out, was involved in an accident,so our gator hunting adventure would be done in a nice shiny rental truck this week. After all of our equipment was loaded up and we were all geared up, we set out on our adventure. We arrived at the hunting grounds right around 7 p.m., there was no game warden in site. Whether or not it was because we were all pumped up or not, we completely missed the self-check in sign at the gate. Cruising along the muddy dirt road we came across the game warden heading back to the entrance. Of course they asked if we signed in and we asked, "what sign in"? Looking like complete jackasses, they made us turn around and go sign-in. Once we were officially signed in, the hunt began.

The previous 2 weeks had been packed with other people out trying to catch gators as well. This week was a little bit different, there was not a soul in sight. All that this meant to us was less competition.

We drove around for a good hour and came back to the spot in which we had seen the most gators. The engine was turned off, the lights were killed and we began our descent into the dark, gator infested swamp. 15 minutes of walking around we spot, what I believe to be a decent sized gator and try to hook it. The guy, Jimmy, who was with us, had mastered casting and snatching these damn things. First throw of the hook and BAM! Gator on. Much like a gigantic fish, this damn thing will put up a fight. Almost an hour passed when we finally got him close enough to the shore to harpoon it. My brother was like fucking Captain Ahab with that harpoon, sinking it in the gator‘s back with a swift, strong blow.

During the final phase of our adventure last Friday night, we have the gator close enough to try and kill it. My brother gets the bang stick loaded, positions himself and SMACK. Nothing happens, SMACK SMACK SMACK, still no BOOM from the bang stick. Quickly he unscrews the tip, only to find out this bullets primer was bad. He reloads a second round and goes for the kill shot. Only this time he completely misses the gator and the fucking thing turned around and snapped at him, nearly getting his leg. Once he gathered his thoughts, he positioned himself on the right side of the gator and BANG!, the gator sank like a bag full of cement. 1 shot to the back of the head and it was lights out for Wally (our official nickname). Adrenaline was freely flowing through every single one of our bodies as we had just killed out first fucking gator! We drug the bad boy up to the bank, took a few pics and proceeded to lift him into the bed of the rental truck, spilling its blood every fucking where.

Being the intelligent people that we are, we decided to clean it ourselves. Let me remind you, this was the first gator we had ever killed and we had no fucking clue how to clean it. A quick you tube session when we got back to the office and we were ready to go. A task that seemed like it would be easy, took us about 2 hours to complete. We all got a good amount of meat off the tail and some good chunks from the rest of its body. I will say though, it looked like a fucking bloody massacre occured outside of the Crazy Shit office. God help anyone in the trailer park behind us if they were watching as the head was sawed off. To conclude the night, we got rid of the leftover gator body by throwing it in the dumpster. Not the brightest idea in the world, as that shit is still in there today and it fucking stinks. I hope you all enjoy this latest installment of Gator Hunting Tim. We have a little over a month off now and then we will be back out there, in pursuit of our second gator.

Wally met his match. First Kill Of The Season.

8-Foot 7-inches is what he measured out at.

223 Caliber bang stick to the dome, 1 shot, death was instant.

Gator Hunting Tim and Wally.

Even after death Wally enjoys a cold refreshing can of Budweiser.

Say Cheese!!

Tim S., tims@crazyshit.com
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Comments From the Peanut Gallery
First Post, Bitches!!!! Oh yeah, where are the pics of the massacre?
posted on: 09-09-09 @ 8:28 PM

Tim S.
I will get those up as soon as I can get them off the camera.
posted on: 09-10-09 @ 11:49 AM

Shit i live in West Virginia(keep the jokes...aww fuck it we deserve it) and we just caught a little ass 2 foot gator that somebody released as an unwanted pet..fucking game warden wouldnt let us keep it...that little motherfucker was rough as hell and mean as fuck!!! i dont ever wanna fuck with a gator that big...FUCK THAT!!! You got Balls the size of Grapefruits!!!
posted on: 09-11-09 @ 6:16 PM

on a side note..why do you always look like a deer in headlights in your pics...hahaha....like you just got caught fucking the gator or something!!! "I wasn't doing nothing, i swear"...just fucking with ya, man!!! Keep up the Gator Murder..fucking dinosaur wanna-be motherfuckers!!!
posted on: 09-11-09 @ 6:20 PM

HAHAHAHAHA!! "What sign in?", Captain Ahab almost lost a leg, & all the rest of it! Great story!! Love the Bud can in the gator mouth. Looks & sounds like a good time. I had deep fried gator in Louisianna once....ONCE. Hope yours tastes better. Gators make lousy housepets! Chickens too!
posted on: 09-11-09 @ 7:35 PM

Well Tim congrats my boy,looks like I won't be getting the much sought after job. We're gearing up for deer season in S.E. Oklahoma dumbasses around here always shootin' 'em with their trucks maybe I'll get something worth posting out of their misery.
posted on: 09-13-09 @ 1:07 PM

Yep! Thats a gator. How do you plan on cooking him? will you be inviten the folks from the peanut gallery to the Bar-B-que? I can be there in about 20 or 30 hours. don't throw out the hide they make nice boots and stuff.
posted on: 09-13-09 @ 2:30 PM

FAKE...fucking photoshop, get back to your desk and stop pretending you ever left it
posted on: 09-16-09 @ 1:12 AM