My Ugly Big Toe

on 12.17.2009

I think I have the ugliest toe around. Itís taken years to get my big toe this ugly. Iím almost to the point where I am proud of it and will proudly wear sandals in public. Heck I even like to gross my girlfriend out with it. Iíd like to share with you how my toe got so ugly and what I plan to do with it.

It all started many, many years ago. When out on a camping trip I had dropped a log on my foot. A few days later the toenail fell off. That was a normal toenail mind you.† What grew back in its back was place was not a normal looking toenail. I was this off color big ass funky toenail. Iíd even go as far as to say it smelt funny too.

Years passed and I could care less about my toenail. I would have the occasional accident where the nail got ripped off (I was drinking on a boat) and it would always grow back funky.† Finally I had enough and went to see a foot doctor. After running some tests and what not, he said my toenail had a fungus. Sweet, there was a fungus among us.† When I went to get my prescription filled I was amazed and horrified that the price was $400 for a monthís worth of pills. Holy Jebus, that is way more than my toe is worth. Even worse than that, I was going to have to get two prescriptions filled. Fuck no, welcome back ugly toe.

What you see in the picture is actually my toe from a few days ago. Last Thursday I was moving a entertainment center while wearing sandals. It was a bad night in general as I had already dropped a huge piece of wood on my other foot; the thought did cross my mind to put some shoes on. I didnít and well, a shelf fell out of the entertainment center and landed with the corner hitting my big ugly toe.† A direct hit! My God did that hurt.

Then on Monday I go to train Jiu-jitsu and thought it would be a good idea to tape up my toe so it doesnít get any funky infections from the mat. Good idea, I know. Well after training and fighting for a bit, I took the tape off. To my surprise a few hours later, my whole toe turned black and blue. For the life of me, I canít remember how tight I put the tape on, but it must have been pretty fucking tight.

This picture was taking on Monday. Today the toe is not so looking bruised or bleeding all over the place.† Itís almost back to its normal ugly self.† Maybe this is why women donít have foot fetishes.

Hollar at ya boy!†

Jay D., jay@crazyshit.com
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Comments From the Peanut Gallery
I thought I toed you not to do that. :)
posted on: 12-17-09 @ 7:25 PM

wow! $400 for a fucking toe fungus perscription! its probably just me but i'd let mine fall off before i paid that much.
posted on: 12-17-09 @ 9:52 PM

Looks like you got your self in a jam.
posted on: 12-18-09 @ 3:36 AM

What a "re-toed"!
posted on: 12-18-09 @ 4:55 AM

Toe Tally Crazy...
posted on: 12-18-09 @ 11:17 AM

It's not a Toetal loss,but you have to stop biting your nails.
posted on: 12-18-09 @ 1:26 PM

^^You had to know this shit was coming with a story like that Jay, LMAO!!^^
posted on: 12-18-09 @ 1:31 PM

that just needs to be chopped off with a dull knife
posted on: 12-21-09 @ 11:26 AM

you should be proud of the other toes too they are almost as good as the big toe
posted on: 12-22-09 @ 2:08 PM

Yes, I know what your going through. I had a bicycle that was leaning against a wall fall and the end of the handle bar came down like a hammer and squared my big toe right in the nail slitting it in half length wise. It too bled and eventually the nail fell off and now I am left with a fucking mutant big toe. It sucks cause I had pretty good looking toes (for a guy) before it happened.
posted on: 12-26-09 @ 12:14 PM

Hey Jay, that $400 medicine is not only expensive it's really hard on your liver, my hubby's doctor won't even prescribe it. A good cheap natural antifungal is tea tree oil, it's only like $5. Just coat it down real well everyday until the fungus disappears, also good for athletes foot or jock itch. powerful stuff.
posted on: 12-28-09 @ 11:05 AM

you could just cut it off!!! its pretty ugly so ill doubt youll miss it!!!!
posted on: 01-05-10 @ 3:07 AM

whoa, the toe has to go.
posted on: 01-15-10 @ 12:13 AM

Rather see a camel's.
posted on: 02-05-10 @ 11:54 PM

now kids this is why drugs are bad
posted on: 02-07-10 @ 9:12 PM

I recon Killkenny's dick would make that toe look like a sixteen year old shaved pussy
posted on: 08-15-10 @ 12:11 PM

Thats gotta suck for the biggie, Hes like WTF man I'm the big toe and I'm suppose to have the biggist nail on the foot!!!!
posted on: 10-16-10 @ 2:55 AM