Greetings And Salutations

on 12.17.2010

I know some Brazilian girls and some European girls, and every time I see them and do the kiss on both cheeks greeting, I question myself on what is the proper method. Maybe some of you foreigners or world travelers can shed some light on the subject.

I‘m not sure if I‘m suppose to actually kiss them on both cheeks, if they‘re suppose to kiss me on both cheeks, or if we just put our cheeks together and kiss the air. And do I hold her hand while we do it, or hug around her waist, or what? I usually just let whatever happens happen, but it‘s time I figure this thing out once and for all.

And while I‘m on the topic of greetings, I think this whole archaic hand shake shit has to go. I don‘t know where you‘ve been putting your hands, and I don‘t want to touch them. I see dudes all the time leaving the bathroom without washing, and I don‘t want those dirty fuckers‘ germ infested hands embracing mine.

I use to be a big proponent of the forearm shake, like they did in the original Battlestar Galactica. I have to assume someone‘s forearm is cleaner than his hands, and if he‘s wearing long sleeves, this is even better. And you can still give a good firm squeeze if that‘s your thing.

But even this method is not very desirable to me anymore. I much prefer a simple fist bump. It‘s quick and easy, and has minimal contact and transmission. For closer friends, a little more intimate variation is to slap hands followed by a fist bump. Yes, your hands do touch briefly, but if you guys bang girls out together or smoke from the same bong, it‘s really no big deal.

Adam H., adamh@crazyshit.com
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Comments From the Peanut Gallery
Greet 'em with a forearm shiver and get the fuckin WICS rollin bitches
posted on: 12-17-10 @ 2:05 PM

good question i think every guy should be greeted with a whats up nod a fist bump only if you can say hey i know this asshole but i wish you could greet every woman with a ass slap not a reach back to china ass slap just a hi how you doing today ass slap the ugly and fat ones well those are optional
posted on: 12-17-10 @ 7:34 PM

loll dude i join only to answer you this question... i been on this site for like months now i love it, but i had to answer yhou, im foreigh from greece and im european obviously, with chicks you hug then and kiss them at both cheecks or maybe sometimes one reply me if you need more info
posted on: 12-17-10 @ 9:05 PM

Haha, ass slap. I like that idea^
posted on: 12-17-10 @ 9:05 PM

Bloody Hell Adam, I so fucking agree with you, we have exactly the same problem here in Australia, most people are dirty pigs and I also see so many walk past me in the toilets out the door while I'm at teh basin washing, but to not hand shake someone is an insult to them and may very well lead to a fight in a pub, but as far a European girls go, this problem is mostly yours, they only want to kiss you because you are a sexy fucking dude most likely, and one kiss on their right cheek while gently holding their right hand with your right hand, and also your left had on the back of their right shoulder blade, this is a brother sister meeting and most Italians and Greeks do it this way in Australia, remember we have the largest Greek population outside of Athens here, we see lots of European traditions.
posted on: 12-26-10 @ 1:16 AM