I need a new barber 
It's time to move on from the barber I have. I tell him to take a little off the top, and he makes me look like Kim Jong Un every time. I have my eye on a few barbershops, but one of them got me to thinking. You see the posters on the window are all of black dudes with afros. Do you think they put those posters up to keep the white dudes out? Kinda like a subliminal "Stay Out Honky!" And what if I went in there anyways, would they even know how to cut straight hair? Only one way to find out. --Jay D. Leave A Comment
He's So Damn Successful 
Have you guys heard about the greatest man to ever bless the internet with his deep and insightful comments? He goes by the name bigtex, and he's the most successful man in the universe. He makes 4 billion dollars a second, owns a fleet of private jets, and has had sex with every Playboy Playmate and Penthouse Pet of the last 30 years. Each morning he awakes to Katy Perry and Scarlett Joahansson simultaneously blowing him, and he can make any woman orgasm, especially your wife, with just a graze of his fingertip. His feet haven't actually touched the ground in over 20 years, because he's somehow evolved into a divine life force that can walk on air, yet he still has a dozen loyal servants who drop fresh strips of bacon in front of his every step. It's only happened twice in his life, but when someone dare start trouble with him, he merely bats an eyelash, and that foolish person's intestines instantly implode. Yes, it's all true, and you would all gladly give up your entire lives to live even just one minute as the almighty bigtex. It's a well known fact that only truly successful people spend all their time on the internet, telling complete strangers how great their lives are. And the most amazing part is, he's done all of this without ever leaving his mom's basement. Wow! What a guy. --Adam Leave A Comment
Where The Fuck Is Drebin? 
I'm putting out an APB on Frank Drebin. Where is that motherfucker? I can't even remember the last time I read a comment of his. I'm guessing he just got bored at being the funniest member day after day for so long, with no one to challenge him. His crazyshit hotline calls were the best too. Where the fuck are you, Drebin? Come back and bless us with your presence. -- Adam Leave A Comment
A Filthy But Tasty Animal 
Muslims, Jews and whatever other religious freaks that don't eat pigs because their god told someone to tell them not to, sure are missing out. I know how fucking filthy and disgusting of an animal pigs are, but holy fuck, they are tasty. A big old glazed ham or some crispy bacon gets me happy just thinking about it. And some slow cooked BBQ baby back ribs make my mouth water. Hell, even some processed lips and assholes can be quite tasty after a good night of drinking. And now it's time to enjoy my delicious pig-filled breakfast burrito. --Adam Leave A Comment
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GOTCHA BITCHES

08/31/2014

So if you haven‘t figured it out already, Rockinron is not dead. He‘s actually feeling better than ever after we successfully pranked you fuckers. When he first brought up the idea of me announcing his death, I thought, if done right it could be really funny, but it turned out so much greater than I ever imagined. People were truly bummed out. It was so awesome. Even Jay texted me, "Seriously?", right after he read my blog. For a second I thought about replying, "Yup&q...

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