Back-up Aides For Early Aviation Instruments For Flying.

on February 7th, 2005

First, the pilot puts a live cat on the cockpit floor. Because a cat always remans upright, the pilot merely has to see which way the cat leans to determine if the wings are level. Second, comes a duck, the duck is used for approaches and landings in "foul" weather conditions. Any sensible duck will refuse to fly under instrument conditions, thus it is only necessary to hurl the duck out the plane and follow it to the ground. Extra Precautions: 1. Get a wide awake cat, because most cats do not want to stand up at all. It may be necessary to carry a dog, so that the cat will be kept at constant attention. 2. Make sure the cat is clean. Dirty cats will spend all their time washing. Trying to follow a washing cat usually results in a tight snap roll, followed by an inverted spin and structural wing failure. 3. Old cats are best. Young cats have nine lives, but an old cat with only one live left has just as much to lose as you do and therefore will be more dependable. 4. Avoid cowardly ducks. If the duck discovers you are using the cat to stay level, the duck will refuse to leave without the cat. 5. Be sure the duck has good eyesight. A nearsighted duck does not realize she has been thrown out of the plane, and will decend to the ground in a sitting postion. Very difficult maneuver to follow in a plane. 6. Use land loving ducks. It is very discouraging to break out of the overcast and find yourself on final approach in the middle of a lake.

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