In his Sunday sermon, the minister used "Forgive Your Enemies" as his subject. After the sermon, he asked how many were willing to forgive their enemies. About half held up their hands.
Not satisfied, he harangued the congregation for another twenty minutes and repeated his question.
This received a response of eighty percent. Still unsatisfied, he lectured for fifteen more minutes and repeated his question. All responded except one elderly gentleman in the rear.
"Mr. Jones, are you not willing to forgive your enemies?"
"I don't have any." "Mr. Jones, that is very unusual. How old are you?"
"Mr. Jones, please come down in front and tell the congregation how a man can live to be ninety-six and not have an enemy in the world."
The old man teetered down the aisle, slowly turned to face the congregation, and said, "I outlived the Sons of Bitches!"