Safe Sex Options

on November 16th, 2010

These days, safe sex isn't just a good idea,
it's a matter of life and death. Here are some valuable tips to
help you "play it safe":

- Do not blow dealers for crack blow regular citizens for cash,
then buy the crack directly.

- Think about parents' nude bodies during foreplay resultant loss
of erection will prevent potential unsafe sex.

- Don't fall for lines like, "God protects his servants in the
clergy from harm."

- Do not, no matter how much peers may pressure you, allow anyone
to get to third base with you.

- Make sure all open sores on penis have thoroughly dried and
scabbed over before use.

- When taking two cocks in the ass, make sure to have an equal
amount of cock in your mouth to reduce the risk of CHI imbalance.

- Before fellating anonymous man in back room of bar, be sure to
ask, "You don't have AIDS, do you?"

- Douse penis liberally with D-Con roach spray before penetrating
farm animals.

- You CAN get it from kissing -- tear out partner's tongue before
any mouth-to-mouth contact.

- To prevent radiation exposure, use only lead-based condoms.

- If you must engage in unsafe sex, take time out beforehand to
hope for the best.

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